IVE MOVED (:

i suddenly feel like blogging abt whats currently happening in my life. okay.

sigh. all i can say now is; im tired. ive been really really tired and drained these few weeks. i mean, ive always been tired, but i think im going through some difficult phrase of life. everything seem so vague and im unsure of whats happening now, and even the future.

and those frends tht i thought i can trust, and whn i needed so much, they wasnt there whn i really needed them the most. some were even backstabbing me and everything. now i know who are those who really care, not just those who get close to me, and whn they got enough of what they want, they just do horrible things tht really hurt. sigh.

but i think at least there were some who really cared. yes i know. i know who are those who really care and were always there whn i need someone. you know who you are too la. not need to brag a long story abt tht. thks for being there, listening to my whinings and going through all these bad times with me. thks a bunch =)

actually, i think im grateful for everyone tht were there. i mean, going through bad times is something tht everyone goes through. and only then, it'll make us more mature and stronger. ive learnt alot through all these. and im not exactly happy tht its happeing, but im at least grateful.

i believe tht, there's God's will and plan in everything tht happened, be it good or even bad. God's timing will never be too early nor late, his clock always strikes on time. there's a reason why everything tht happened. wait for God's timing, and you'll see the beauty of it.

`in everything, give thanks.

i just baked chocolate brownies. they're nice. if you want some, pls come over. haha.

im in a really good mood just now. i think i would most probably do anything yout want me to do for you just now, but not now anymore. granny is over for the weekends, and she's giving my her black face and throwing temper on me, accusing me of lying to everyone, the moment i just stepped home. sigh.

school was good today, or maybe not. i think i screwed the geog paper. who who cares. im happy, cause i pass my maths. you might find me crazy, but im not. cause i dont always pass my maths. i fail them terribly most of time. its not tht great, but at least i pass this time. so glad tht i finally pass. finally!

its not tht im happy because i won the bet i had my tuition teacher. im not so material i guess. haha. anw, he gotta give me fifty bucks for passing. then i can buy the new bag i want. lols.

granny is over, cause mummy and daddy is away in kl, to attend some stupid seminar. why must they go all the way there. cant they hold the seminar in spore. so irritating.

i think im starting to pms. ive been having moodswings and i feel so tired in school. im getting so tired and confused over so many things, sometimes, i just hope tht i could sleep forever. i dont want to wake up and see this gone world.

growing up these days have been really crazy and tough. so much for my girlhood ;

anw, mark is really crazy. he promised tht he'll eat a TWOlitre tub of ice cream later, so tht he'll put on weight, since he's so thin. haha. this is so funny and amusing! =)

dreamalittledreamofme`

oh. my maths tuition just ended. but i still have got some stupid and shit english assignment to be completed before i can go to sleep tonight. im starting to hate, okay maybe i shldnt use tht word, im starting to dislike ms yew more and more. she used to be the nicest english teacher, with the most gentle and softest voice, and the best temper a teacher would normally have, and the best thing, she doesnt care abt late work. but she just changed completely. she began to be so noisy, irritating, and bossy. i dont know why, but she just did.

she scream and scolds us, over little things, the slightest little things, like being noisy, but its like which class isnt noisy? she scolds us like we owe her a life or smth. its so annoying. and she cant for gosh teach for nuts la. her lessons are so boring, tht they'll bore you to sleep, and you might be so bored, you pass away during sleeping. and so, we try adding up some laughter and spice to her lessons, to make everyone laugh, but she scolds us for tht too. and she act like she's such a good teacher, so fierce and great whn mrs kong steps into the class, whn she saw half the class standing cause of late assignments. finefine :(

sighs. maybe i shldnt have said all tht, but she's really getting on our nerves. she doesnt like us. yes i know, but tht doesnt mean tht we like her. in fact, i would say, we dont. we've somewhat lost the respect tht we used to have for her in the past. but i somewhat missed the old days, whn she was so nice tht she sing while strumming the guitar for us during lesson time.

arh well. forget abt tht. anw, i just hope i can pass my maths exam tmr. haha. i think i can pass, i hope. tuition teacher just promised tht he'll give me fifty bucks if i can pass* tmr's paper. he thinks tht i cant, but ohwell, i think i can. okay, he'll give me fifty bucks if i pass, but if i fail, then i'll have to do it vice versa too, tht means give him fifty bucks. haha. the bet is on. i think i'll do okay. no worries.

at least there's smth for me to look forward to, cause i really dread doing any maths tests. i mostly flung them, but, im somewhat confident tht i'll pass tmr's paper. haha. i better not be too confident =)

so there. i better start doing my english assignment now and i need my coffee now! study hard girlos, we'll do it aye. restwell. loves!

feelme, touchme, healme ;

sighs. sometimes i cant help feeling tht life is so unfair. perhaps it happens only to me. you can say tht im speaking frm my side of feelings and thoughts, but i still think tht life is so unfair.

now, i'll tell you my sad story. and i just hope tht you'll at least agree with me. its like this.

ive got a granny who started taking care of me since i was born. ive always asked myself this question. if you would ask me who im closest to, i wouldnt say mummy or daddy. it'll always be granny, for all the care, concern and love tht she showered upon me through this fourteen years, can never be repaid to her. ive always known tht, and ive always cherished my old little granny. i really love this granny, who took care on my whole life, till now.

i know she loves me too, as much as i love her. yes, i know she does. but there has always been a small little problem between us. i dont know how to explain it, but i know there's a problem somewhere. its smth hidden.

then ystd, was supposed to be a happy day. cousins and everyone came. and i did smth wrong in the morning. i know i did smth really bad tht made granny angry, but part of it wasnt my fault. i tried to explain it to her, but she started saying tht i was giving her excuses. and she was so angry, tht she said, i shld stop calling her granny. and she black-faced me throughout the whole of ystd, whn she was talking so happily with brother, sista and all my other cousins.

and whn i saw and heard tht, i was so sad. how could she say and do this to me? whn brother and sista does smth wrong, she'll just cover up for them so tht daddy wounldnt find out, or she would just give them a small lecture. im not trying to be jealous, or feel bias of what she does to my siblings then to me. i know im not, but how could she actually say this to me?

i was so sad for the whole of ystd, but i kept everything to myself. and i was hoping tht she would be okay this morning. but whn i woke up, she gave me a black face, and banged the stupid plate in front of my face, and she went off to offer brother and sista breakfast smiling and laughing, leaving me there feeling like a idiot. dammit.

it sucks whn its coming frm someone whom i love and respect the most. and its being too unfair to me. dont you think so? i just feel really bad and sad. but actually, i dont hold it upon her. maybe granny is getting old, thts why she's doing this to me. well, at least i hope so. but im going out to somewhere, i dont know where to study. i cant stay at home, see her black face, and throwing temper now, and study.

but i dont have anywhere to go now. brenda and the rest are staying at home to study, and i wouldnt want to disturb them, by going to their hse or asking them out. im so lost now.

if uve somewhat, read this, pls drop me a msg or give me a ring alright. im still thinging of where i shld go, but i shal ljust go and bath now. so there.

takecare. study hard for the ca exams. loves!

iguessineedyoubaby`

there's a little thing tht exists in this world. its a little thing, no doubt, but its a crazy little thing. its called ; love.

she will be loved ; maroon5

beauty queen of only eighteen
she had some trouble with herself
he was always there to help her
she always belonged to someone else

i drove for miles and miles
and wound up at your door
ive had you so many times but somehow
i want more

i don't mind spending everyday
out on your corner in the pouring rain
look for the girl with the broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay awhile
and she will be loved
she will be loved

tap on my window knock on my door
i want to make you feel beautiful
i know I tend to get insecure
it doesn't matter anymore

it's not always rainbows and butterflies
it's compromise that moves us along
my heart is full and my door's always open
you can come anytime you want


i don't mind spending everyday
out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
look for the girl with the broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay awhile

and she will be loved(x4)

i know where you hide
alone in your car
know all of the things that make you who you are
i know that goodbye means nothing at all
comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

tap on my window, knock on my door
i want to make you feel beautiful
i don't mind spending every day
out on your corner in the pouring rain
look for the girl with the broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay awhile

and she will be loved(x4)

please don't try so hard to say goodbye(x2)

oh golly! i cant believe tht i actually woke up at seven today. i mean, i only fell asleep at abt four in the morning. and i actually woke up so early. ive been in a crazy mood these days. i dont understand what ive been doing. i think ive done so many silly and wrong things. some of which ive always thought tht its right, but in actual fact, wrong.

anw, life have been moving on pretty fast. and ive finally accept the fact tht, everything comes and go. nothing lasts forever, though how much we want it to last, or how we promised it would last. but i think its better off this way. at least i can have a fresh start, and think of what i shld really focus on. not waste my time and tears on smth tht does not even exist now.

ca exams is just a day away. but i seriously dont have any mood/drive to start mugging. i really want to study hard and do well for this exam, but i need smth to help me move on. i need some drive.

sometimes, i cant help admiring my cousin, who's currently studying in rgs, and taking her o`level this yr. she's definetely not a nerd or a geek. she studys so hard tht she forgets to take her meals, and even lose weight. and although she is alr scoring six or seven a(s), she's still not contented. she's always reaching for higher goals, better results. im really proud of her. there's really much for me to learn from her.

anw, im craving for smth ;
strawberry yogurt! aww.

okay. i shall give daddy a ring and get him to buy me a tub of strawberry yogurt. haha. thts abt it la. i shall try to drive myself to study, before cousins comes later. anw, have a happy happy national day! =)

imabrokenthread ;

im so tired. just woke up frm my long nap. sleeping is still the best. haha. went to church in the morning and stayed for youth. the message for morning service was quite serious and pretty deep. pastor shared on this topic, if God was consuming fire.

it seem like a difficult and intense topic to me before i heard the sermon. but i can kinda relate to it after i heard the whole thing. its smth tht everyone can relate to in their everyday daily lives. and was also amused by what the pastor shared. i could feel it. it was so real, so realistic.

after ive heard everything, i realised tht, all these time, ive been living all my life in vain. i felt quite horrible inside. cause deep inside, i know tht ive been doing all the wrong things and sinned against God. the feeling was horrible.

ive been a naughty girl. i havent been listening to anything mummy and daddy said. i even lied to them, so often tht, once, i thought it was so normal to lie to them. ive been a material girl. i used to love the world and the things in the world more then anything. so much so tht, i even put the worldly things before myself. and before God.

there've been so many things tht ive been doing wrongly, and im too ashamed to even blog it. i know tht im a great sinner. ive been telling myself this. nothing in this world is more important to having the presence God. i know tht deep in my heart. everytime i do smth wrong, my conscience will somewhay be talking to me.

ive always longed for intimacy through the whole walking journey with God. but i somehow keep on losing it. i know my faith havent been what a fourteen year old christian should be. i dont have a good faith foundation. everytime i think abt it, i just get tears in my eyes. i feel so small.

but today's service really lighted up a bulb in me. i seem to be awakened by the sermon. the holy spirit was with me, speaking to my heart right from the start till the end of the service. and during praise and worship, whn i saw everyone singing and touched by the holy spirit, i was also moved to tears.

if uve been living your life in vain, loved the world, fell into temptations agn and agn, felt emptiness in you, and if you havent recieved the best present you can ever recieve in your life, im here to share it with you. cause ive recieved it. its the gift of God. Christ have alr gave his life for our sins. its only up to you to accept and recieve this precious present.

just to add on a bible verse from today's service.
"Therefore, since we are recieving a kingdom that cannot be shakened, lets give thanks, by which we offer to God and acceptable worship with reverence and awe; for indeed our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:28-29

good day alright. takecare and enjoy your extended holidays. much loves =)

im blogging for yesterday.

back at school for national celebrations. it was really great. i felt truly truly happy whn all of us stood in a circle, singing and screaming together. its smth all of us had never done before. i felt so happy and i havent been feeling tht for a long time. i felt so comforted, and i think im beginning to fall in love with my class. the 2b class spirit had finally be building up. i mean, we werent like this before, last time, last year whn we were in sec1. although its a little late, but i think its so much better then what we were before.

two saint bernadette rock!

didnt go for ac superstar in the end. haha. so sorry to many many people who expected to see me there. i recieved all your calls and saw all your msges. so sorry, i didnt turn up, due to some unreaveled reasons and circumstances. really really sorry abt tht. hope tht you people had fun there aye. haha.

anw, im really irritated by some stupid annoying people who are msging me, but just dont want to reavel their identity. and im stuck here, trying to figure out who they are. so annoying! and eugene and sean! where have you two been huh. i need you to help me out with smth. better get to me asap alright. haha.

so there. takecare aye. much loves !

ive got my new keyboard, so i can finalyl blog properly. anw, ive just decided to take the password thing away. i think its pointless to put it there, since ive alr found out the truth.

this is to to 'tas'.

ive got two news to tell you. one of which is good, another which is bad. well, i think you would prefer to hear the good one first. okay. the good news is tht, ive taken way the password to acess my blog, so i think you would be happy cause you can continue spammng. and the bad news for tas is tht, ive found out who tas is.

i know tht tas is somewhat reading this. i shall tell you the truth. how did i found out who tas was? haha. this is quite funny.

its simple;
you lost your plot.

you let out your secret of spamming my tags accidentally, without even knowing tht you mentioned smth tht you spammed im my tags. i coincidentally got to found out the truth. what have you accidentally said? think abt it. and you obviously hinted so clearly tht it was you who did everything. you lost your plot.

and you can actually act so innocent, nice and all in front of me. whn behind me you spammed all these abt me. now i know what i actually meant to you all along. ive always thought tht our frendship could go very far, ever since we became frends. i thought tht you were someone worth keeping, till the end. but you had to do this.

since you had so many comments to make, why dont you have the courage to say it in front of my face? since you hate me so much, then why put on a act in front of me, instead of showing and telling me how much you hated and dislike me. it really digust me.

you even went to the extend of creating a frendster account, and sent me a message, telling me how much you hate me and dislike me. but you know what, the message sounded totally like you. i alr found out tht tas was made up by a group of you and your clique. i can figure out what tas actually stands for. t-a-s.

you went through so much trouble, to get the msg across to me tht you really hated me and dislike me. but i would appreciate it, if you could just tell me it straight and honestly in front of my face, then doing them all behind my back. you went through all these despicible means, and you think tht uve won everything?

i say, no.

you left so many loopholes in everything tht uve done, without even realising it, and without even knowing tht you were showing me hints tht directly tells me tht its you who did it. i didnt accuse you. i got my facts right. im sure i did, even before i blogged this. and you shld know deep in you heart, who actually you are. dont deny. cause if you do, i think you dont have a conscience. i want you to tell me tht uve done everything. i want you to tell me tht. i want to know.

since all your acts seem so real. i think i shld just crown you as;
drama queen.

i think thts my answer to you, your clique and everyone. pls dont act innocent in front of me and dont deny. you know who are are. feel your conscience. is it pricking you? i think it does. i dont wish to blog your names here. but if you want to deny, then i might reconsider blogging your names here. so there.

knowing tht you were the one who did it, hurts like a knife.