take all tht hurt away from your child, God.

2005-03-22T02:17:00.000-08:00

when the journey's over, and all my dreams come true, i dream of you

FINALS - OUR TRIUMPH, OUR GAME
23 march(tomorrow!), delta, 3pm.

oh please. i'm so damn excited for tomorrow; it's our finals. thinking of all the wonderful things that will happen tomorrow made me so excited. i really really can't wait for tomorrow. i think i'll just be very excited throughout the whole day in school tomorrow till we're released.

anyway, ms marten's such a dear. she took all the extra effort to take photos of us(the team) and compiled them into a video with a short summary/story of all the things we've gone through since the start of this b'div tournament. the video is entitled, 'a daring adventure'; the story of a team of ordinary kids. the video's so nice and sweet. she even printed the pages of the video out and binded them into booklets for us. and i'm sure that we all love it so damn much, yes?

looking at the video, reading through the contents of the story and thinking of all the things we've gone through in this short journey, can really bring laughter and tears to me. i mean, unless you went through this whole journey, you'll never be able to understand how wonderful this whole journey really is. i call it, beautiful and painful.

team,
it'd been a pretty damn amazing journey with all of you. and i know that we're the most special and bravest bunch of girls. we reached the finals after so many setbacks. coach left us halfway through, we had to shoulder all the critics from the world and play without a coach. so what if others think that we don't deserve to reach this far, and it's luck that brought us this far? they might even call us the underdogs, but so? i know we trained and worked so terribly hard and against all odds, we conquered fear, kept each other's hope alive, believed in each other and our dreams, and we made it through with the greatest courage we all have. we deserve every bit of being in the finals. i'm sure coach's so damn proud of us and he'll be there for us tomorrow. regardless of the result of tomorrow's finals, i know that we're already champions in each and every of our own heart, to have reached this far, aren't we? i'm so proud to be in such a wonderful team. tomorrow's the last game for b'div 05 and also the final phrase our whole journey. let's work hard like we've never before and make tommorrow the best day of all. it'll be our day and our year tomorrow. we'll do the school, coach, ms martens, and ourselves proud. b'div 05, you're the best thing that ever happened to me. i love :)

FLY LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STING LIKE A BEE.
THE SKY'S THE LIMIT, WE'LL CHASE OUR DREAM.

2004-08-22T05:57:00.000-07:00

IVE MOVED (:

2004-08-16T04:04:00.000-07:00

i suddenly feel like blogging abt whats currently happening in my life. okay.

sigh. all i can say now is; im tired. ive been really really tired and drained these few weeks. i mean, ive always been tired, but i think im going through some difficult phrase of life. everything seem so vague and im unsure of whats happening now, and even the future.

and those frends tht i thought i can trust, and whn i needed so much, they wasnt there whn i really needed them the most. some were even backstabbing me and everything. now i know who are those who really care, not just those who get close to me, and whn they got enough of what they want, they just do horrible things tht really hurt. sigh.

but i think at least there were some who really cared. yes i know. i know who are those who really care and were always there whn i need someone. you know who you are too la. not need to brag a long story abt tht. thks for being there, listening to my whinings and going through all these bad times with me. thks a bunch =)

actually, i think im grateful for everyone tht were there. i mean, going through bad times is something tht everyone goes through. and only then, it'll make us more mature and stronger. ive learnt alot through all these. and im not exactly happy tht its happeing, but im at least grateful.

i believe tht, there's God's will and plan in everything tht happened, be it good or even bad. God's timing will never be too early nor late, his clock always strikes on time. there's a reason why everything tht happened. wait for God's timing, and you'll see the beauty of it.

`in everything, give thanks.

2004-08-15T01:24:00.000-07:00

i just baked chocolate brownies. they're nice. if you want some, pls come over. haha.

2004-08-13T05:21:00.000-07:00

im in a really good mood just now. i think i would most probably do anything yout want me to do for you just now, but not now anymore. granny is over for the weekends, and she's giving my her black face and throwing temper on me, accusing me of lying to everyone, the moment i just stepped home. sigh.

school was good today, or maybe not. i think i screwed the geog paper. who who cares. im happy, cause i pass my maths. you might find me crazy, but im not. cause i dont always pass my maths. i fail them terribly most of time. its not tht great, but at least i pass this time. so glad tht i finally pass. finally!

its not tht im happy because i won the bet i had my tuition teacher. im not so material i guess. haha. anw, he gotta give me fifty bucks for passing. then i can buy the new bag i want. lols.

granny is over, cause mummy and daddy is away in kl, to attend some stupid seminar. why must they go all the way there. cant they hold the seminar in spore. so irritating.

i think im starting to pms. ive been having moodswings and i feel so tired in school. im getting so tired and confused over so many things, sometimes, i just hope tht i could sleep forever. i dont want to wake up and see this gone world.

growing up these days have been really crazy and tough. so much for my girlhood ;

anw, mark is really crazy. he promised tht he'll eat a TWOlitre tub of ice cream later, so tht he'll put on weight, since he's so thin. haha. this is so funny and amusing! =)

dreamalittledreamofme`

2004-08-11T06:38:00.000-07:00

oh. my maths tuition just ended. but i still have got some stupid and shit english assignment to be completed before i can go to sleep tonight. im starting to hate, okay maybe i shldnt use tht word, im starting to dislike ms yew more and more. she used to be the nicest english teacher, with the most gentle and softest voice, and the best temper a teacher would normally have, and the best thing, she doesnt care abt late work. but she just changed completely. she began to be so noisy, irritating, and bossy. i dont know why, but she just did.

she scream and scolds us, over little things, the slightest little things, like being noisy, but its like which class isnt noisy? she scolds us like we owe her a life or smth. its so annoying. and she cant for gosh teach for nuts la. her lessons are so boring, tht they'll bore you to sleep, and you might be so bored, you pass away during sleeping. and so, we try adding up some laughter and spice to her lessons, to make everyone laugh, but she scolds us for tht too. and she act like she's such a good teacher, so fierce and great whn mrs kong steps into the class, whn she saw half the class standing cause of late assignments. finefine :(

sighs. maybe i shldnt have said all tht, but she's really getting on our nerves. she doesnt like us. yes i know, but tht doesnt mean tht we like her. in fact, i would say, we dont. we've somewhat lost the respect tht we used to have for her in the past. but i somewhat missed the old days, whn she was so nice tht she sing while strumming the guitar for us during lesson time.

arh well. forget abt tht. anw, i just hope i can pass my maths exam tmr. haha. i think i can pass, i hope. tuition teacher just promised tht he'll give me fifty bucks if i can pass* tmr's paper. he thinks tht i cant, but ohwell, i think i can. okay, he'll give me fifty bucks if i pass, but if i fail, then i'll have to do it vice versa too, tht means give him fifty bucks. haha. the bet is on. i think i'll do okay. no worries.

at least there's smth for me to look forward to, cause i really dread doing any maths tests. i mostly flung them, but, im somewhat confident tht i'll pass tmr's paper. haha. i better not be too confident =)

so there. i better start doing my english assignment now and i need my coffee now! study hard girlos, we'll do it aye. restwell. loves!

feelme, touchme, healme ;

2004-08-09T19:38:00.000-07:00

sighs. sometimes i cant help feeling tht life is so unfair. perhaps it happens only to me. you can say tht im speaking frm my side of feelings and thoughts, but i still think tht life is so unfair.

now, i'll tell you my sad story. and i just hope tht you'll at least agree with me. its like this.

ive got a granny who started taking care of me since i was born. ive always asked myself this question. if you would ask me who im closest to, i wouldnt say mummy or daddy. it'll always be granny, for all the care, concern and love tht she showered upon me through this fourteen years, can never be repaid to her. ive always known tht, and ive always cherished my old little granny. i really love this granny, who took care on my whole life, till now.

i know she loves me too, as much as i love her. yes, i know she does. but there has always been a small little problem between us. i dont know how to explain it, but i know there's a problem somewhere. its smth hidden.

then ystd, was supposed to be a happy day. cousins and everyone came. and i did smth wrong in the morning. i know i did smth really bad tht made granny angry, but part of it wasnt my fault. i tried to explain it to her, but she started saying tht i was giving her excuses. and she was so angry, tht she said, i shld stop calling her granny. and she black-faced me throughout the whole of ystd, whn she was talking so happily with brother, sista and all my other cousins.

and whn i saw and heard tht, i was so sad. how could she say and do this to me? whn brother and sista does smth wrong, she'll just cover up for them so tht daddy wounldnt find out, or she would just give them a small lecture. im not trying to be jealous, or feel bias of what she does to my siblings then to me. i know im not, but how could she actually say this to me?

i was so sad for the whole of ystd, but i kept everything to myself. and i was hoping tht she would be okay this morning. but whn i woke up, she gave me a black face, and banged the stupid plate in front of my face, and she went off to offer brother and sista breakfast smiling and laughing, leaving me there feeling like a idiot. dammit.

it sucks whn its coming frm someone whom i love and respect the most. and its being too unfair to me. dont you think so? i just feel really bad and sad. but actually, i dont hold it upon her. maybe granny is getting old, thts why she's doing this to me. well, at least i hope so. but im going out to somewhere, i dont know where to study. i cant stay at home, see her black face, and throwing temper now, and study.

but i dont have anywhere to go now. brenda and the rest are staying at home to study, and i wouldnt want to disturb them, by going to their hse or asking them out. im so lost now.

if uve somewhat, read this, pls drop me a msg or give me a ring alright. im still thinging of where i shld go, but i shal ljust go and bath now. so there.

takecare. study hard for the ca exams. loves!

iguessineedyoubaby`

2004-08-09T02:26:00.000-07:00

there's a little thing tht exists in this world. its a little thing, no doubt, but its a crazy little thing. its called ; love.

she will be loved ; maroon5

beauty queen of only eighteen
she had some trouble with herself
he was always there to help her
she always belonged to someone else

i drove for miles and miles
and wound up at your door
ive had you so many times but somehow
i want more

i don't mind spending everyday
out on your corner in the pouring rain
look for the girl with the broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay awhile
and she will be loved
she will be loved

tap on my window knock on my door
i want to make you feel beautiful
i know I tend to get insecure
it doesn't matter anymore

it's not always rainbows and butterflies
it's compromise that moves us along
my heart is full and my door's always open
you can come anytime you want

i don't mind spending everyday
out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh
look for the girl with the broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay awhile

and she will be loved(x4)

i know where you hide
alone in your car
know all of the things that make you who you are
i know that goodbye means nothing at all
comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

tap on my window, knock on my door
i want to make you feel beautiful
i don't mind spending every day
out on your corner in the pouring rain
look for the girl with the broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay awhile

and she will be loved(x4)

please don't try so hard to say goodbye(x2)

2004-08-08T19:09:00.000-07:00

oh golly! i cant believe tht i actually woke up at seven today. i mean, i only fell asleep at abt four in the morning. and i actually woke up so early. ive been in a crazy mood these days. i dont understand what ive been doing. i think ive done so many silly and wrong things. some of which ive always thought tht its right, but in actual fact, wrong.

anw, life have been moving on pretty fast. and ive finally accept the fact tht, everything comes and go. nothing lasts forever, though how much we want it to last, or how we promised it would last. but i think its better off this way. at least i can have a fresh start, and think of what i shld really focus on. not waste my time and tears on smth tht does not even exist now.

ca exams is just a day away. but i seriously dont have any mood/drive to start mugging. i really want to study hard and do well for this exam, but i need smth to help me move on. i need some drive.

sometimes, i cant help admiring my cousin, who's currently studying in rgs, and taking her o`level this yr. she's definetely not a nerd or a geek. she studys so hard tht she forgets to take her meals, and even lose weight. and although she is alr scoring six or seven a(s), she's still not contented. she's always reaching for higher goals, better results. im really proud of her. there's really much for me to learn from her.

anw, im craving for smth ;
strawberry yogurt! aww.

okay. i shall give daddy a ring and get him to buy me a tub of strawberry yogurt. haha. thts abt it la. i shall try to drive myself to study, before cousins comes later. anw, have a happy happy national day! =)

imabrokenthread ;

2004-08-08T05:35:00.000-07:00

im so tired. just woke up frm my long nap. sleeping is still the best. haha. went to church in the morning and stayed for youth. the message for morning service was quite serious and pretty deep. pastor shared on this topic, if God was consuming fire.

it seem like a difficult and intense topic to me before i heard the sermon. but i can kinda relate to it after i heard the whole thing. its smth tht everyone can relate to in their everyday daily lives. and was also amused by what the pastor shared. i could feel it. it was so real, so realistic.

after ive heard everything, i realised tht, all these time, ive been living all my life in vain. i felt quite horrible inside. cause deep inside, i know tht ive been doing all the wrong things and sinned against God. the feeling was horrible.

ive been a naughty girl. i havent been listening to anything mummy and daddy said. i even lied to them, so often tht, once, i thought it was so normal to lie to them. ive been a material girl. i used to love the world and the things in the world more then anything. so much so tht, i even put the worldly things before myself. and before God.

there've been so many things tht ive been doing wrongly, and im too ashamed to even blog it. i know tht im a great sinner. ive been telling myself this. nothing in this world is more important to having the presence God. i know tht deep in my heart. everytime i do smth wrong, my conscience will somewhay be talking to me.

ive always longed for intimacy through the whole walking journey with God. but i somehow keep on losing it. i know my faith havent been what a fourteen year old christian should be. i dont have a good faith foundation. everytime i think abt it, i just get tears in my eyes. i feel so small.

but today's service really lighted up a bulb in me. i seem to be awakened by the sermon. the holy spirit was with me, speaking to my heart right from the start till the end of the service. and during praise and worship, whn i saw everyone singing and touched by the holy spirit, i was also moved to tears.

if uve been living your life in vain, loved the world, fell into temptations agn and agn, felt emptiness in you, and if you havent recieved the best present you can ever recieve in your life, im here to share it with you. cause ive recieved it. its the gift of God. Christ have alr gave his life for our sins. its only up to you to accept and recieve this precious present.

just to add on a bible verse from today's service.
"Therefore, since we are recieving a kingdom that cannot be shakened, lets give thanks, by which we offer to God and acceptable worship with reverence and awe; for indeed our God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:28-29

good day alright. takecare and enjoy your extended holidays. much loves =)

2004-08-06T21:10:00.000-07:00

im blogging for yesterday.

back at school for national celebrations. it was really great. i felt truly truly happy whn all of us stood in a circle, singing and screaming together. its smth all of us had never done before. i felt so happy and i havent been feeling tht for a long time. i felt so comforted, and i think im beginning to fall in love with my class. the 2b class spirit had finally be building up. i mean, we werent like this before, last time, last year whn we were in sec1. although its a little late, but i think its so much better then what we were before.

two saint bernadette rock!

didnt go for ac superstar in the end. haha. so sorry to many many people who expected to see me there. i recieved all your calls and saw all your msges. so sorry, i didnt turn up, due to some unreaveled reasons and circumstances. really really sorry abt tht. hope tht you people had fun there aye. haha.

anw, im really irritated by some stupid annoying people who are msging me, but just dont want to reavel their identity. and im stuck here, trying to figure out who they are. so annoying! and eugene and sean! where have you two been huh. i need you to help me out with smth. better get to me asap alright. haha.

so there. takecare aye. much loves !

2004-08-04T04:28:00.000-07:00

ive got my new keyboard, so i can finalyl blog properly. anw, ive just decided to take the password thing away. i think its pointless to put it there, since ive alr found out the truth.

this is to to 'tas'.

ive got two news to tell you. one of which is good, another which is bad. well, i think you would prefer to hear the good one first. okay. the good news is tht, ive taken way the password to acess my blog, so i think you would be happy cause you can continue spammng. and the bad news for tas is tht, ive found out who tas is.

i know tht tas is somewhat reading this. i shall tell you the truth. how did i found out who tas was? haha. this is quite funny.

its simple;
you lost your plot.

you let out your secret of spamming my tags accidentally, without even knowing tht you mentioned smth tht you spammed im my tags. i coincidentally got to found out the truth. what have you accidentally said? think abt it. and you obviously hinted so clearly tht it was you who did everything. you lost your plot.

and you can actually act so innocent, nice and all in front of me. whn behind me you spammed all these abt me. now i know what i actually meant to you all along. ive always thought tht our frendship could go very far, ever since we became frends. i thought tht you were someone worth keeping, till the end. but you had to do this.

since you had so many comments to make, why dont you have the courage to say it in front of my face? since you hate me so much, then why put on a act in front of me, instead of showing and telling me how much you hated and dislike me. it really digust me.

you even went to the extend of creating a frendster account, and sent me a message, telling me how much you hate me and dislike me. but you know what, the message sounded totally like you. i alr found out tht tas was made up by a group of you and your clique. i can figure out what tas actually stands for. t-a-s.

you went through so much trouble, to get the msg across to me tht you really hated me and dislike me. but i would appreciate it, if you could just tell me it straight and honestly in front of my face, then doing them all behind my back. you went through all these despicible means, and you think tht uve won everything?

i say, no.

you left so many loopholes in everything tht uve done, without even realising it, and without even knowing tht you were showing me hints tht directly tells me tht its you who did it. i didnt accuse you. i got my facts right. im sure i did, even before i blogged this. and you shld know deep in you heart, who actually you are. dont deny. cause if you do, i think you dont have a conscience. i want you to tell me tht uve done everything. i want you to tell me tht. i want to know.

since all your acts seem so real. i think i shld just crown you as;
drama queen.

i think thts my answer to you, your clique and everyone. pls dont act innocent in front of me and dont deny. you know who are are. feel your conscience. is it pricking you? i think it does. i dont wish to blog your names here. but if you want to deny, then i might reconsider blogging your names here. so there.

knowing tht you were the one who did it, hurts like a knife.

2004-07-31T02:28:00.000-07:00

i just changed my blog to a private one. means, you need to have my password to access it. yupp. you got to read this because uve got my password. haha. actually, i really hate to do this. i think a public blog is nicer, but i think ive got quite enough.

maybe uve read my tags for the past two days. i dont know who is 'tas' or whoever her clique is. and i think tht is quite enough. and i think since they claim tht they really hate me, they shld just tell my straight in my face, and not spam my tags again and again. im not scared to continue the game with them, but i think if they keep on spamming, it'll be damn annoying for me to reply their stupid msges. and i think its really shit.

and pls dont pass my password arnd if i ever give it to you okay. cause i want to prevent all those stupid spammers. and if ever there's any spamms, i'll just have to change my password again.

byes-

2004-07-29T00:38:00.000-07:00

glory of love; peter cetera

tonight its very clear
cause we're both lying here
there's so many things
i wanna say
i will always love you
i will never leave you alone
sometimes i just forget,
say things i might regret
it breaks my heart to see you crying
i don't want to lose you
i could never make it alone

i am a man who would fight for your honor
i'll be the hero you're dreaming of
we'll live forever knowing together
that we did it all for the glory of love

you keep me standing tall
you help me through it all
i'm always strong when you're beside me
i have always needed you
i could never make it alone

i am a man who would fight for your honor
i'll be the hero you've been dreaming of
we'll live forever knowing together
that we did it all for the glory of love

it's like a knight in shining armor
from a long time ago
just in time i will save the day
take you to my castle far away

i am the man who will fight for your honor
i'll be the hero that you're dreaming of
we're gonna live forever knowing together
that we did it all for the glory of love

we live forever knowing together
that we did it all for the glory of love

we did it all for love
we did it all for love
we did it all for love
we did it all for love..

2004-07-29T00:29:00.000-07:00

glory of love; peter cetera

tonight its very clear
cause we're both lying here
there's so many things
i wanna say
i will always love you
i will never leave you alone
sometimes I just forget,
say things I might regret
it breaks my heart to see you crying
i don't want to lose you
i could never make it alone

i am a man who would fight for your honor
i'll be the hero you're dreaming of
we'll live forever knowing together
that we did it all for the glory of love

you keep me standing tall
you help me through it all
i'm always strong when you're beside me
i have always needed you
i could never make it alone

i am a man who would fight for your honor
i'll be the hero you've been dreaming of
we'll live forever knowing together
that we did it all for the glory of love

it's like a knight in shining armor
from a long time ago
just in time i will save the day
take you to my castle far away

i am the man who will fight for your honor
i'll be the hero that you're dreaming of
we're gonna live forever knowing together
that we did it all for the glory of love

we live forever knowing together
that we did it all for the glory of love

we did it all for love
we did it all for love
we did it all for love
we did it all for love..

2004-07-26T01:47:00.000-07:00

im so angry now. my brother just cheesed me off sometimes. idiot. after i took my shower, i signed into my msn, and i found out tht there're so many wierd contacts tht i dont even know in my contacts. and i also found out tht my stupid annoying brother was the one who deleted some of my contacts(i dunno who) and added some from nowhere(i dunno who too!) into my contacts. now i'll have so much explaining to do whn those people sign in and ask me why i added them. this is so irritating and annoying. crap.

anw, today was such a long day. i dunno why, but it just seem extremely long. just started on the homeroom system today, cause belinda had recovered from her factured ankle. and one week is over, so we're not suppose to be studying in the library anymore. i miss studying in the library. i think its so nice okay. at least better then switching classrooms and travelling arnd the whole damn school right. homeroom system sucks. fuckshit.

ohwell. im so tired. and i dunno what happened to me. i just came straight home after school today. lols. im such a good girl. waha. actually not so la. i mean, all i do everyday if there's no hockey trng, is going to town. and i found myself spending most of my time in town. and being in town is also meaningless. nothing much to do there. its just seeing and meeting the same people, and doing shopping. town just gets so boring whn ure there everday. agree? yesyes.

alright. i shall go and catch some sleep. my contacts are getting dry, and im so tired now. i'll be back later in the evening alright. so there. ta.

2004-07-25T02:15:00.000-07:00

waha. im so bored here, and so i decided to blog abt racial harmony night. this will be a long post. my my. i didnt know tht racial harmony night could be so much of fun. lols. really. i actually dreaded, and even wanted to pon it. but well, i didnt. i would have missed so much fun and everything. and if i were those who didnt attended it, i would have regreted it.

it started out like a normal school day. we went to school, but school ended at 10am. didnt have much lessons, except, we had a maths test, and geography lessons. four miserable periods. whn we were dismissed, brenda, jillian, yiting and i went to town. didnt have much to do, so we walked and shopped arnd, till it was time for us to report to school.

everyone assembled in our homeroom, and i was there too. and i dunno what happened, i suddenly had a sudden urge to puke. so i ran to the toilet(brenda was running aftr me), lols. and then i puked. eekks. thurges was outside too. all of them sounded so scared and worried whn they asked me if i was okay. lols. so funny.

so i didnt go for the walk to labrador. anyways, i alr didnt feel like walking there. and plus i vomitted, so i stayed in school. stayed in the canteen with elaine, gwen, shermin and ziping for quite some time. it was so funny okay. we just kept on laughing and laughing. i tell you smth. gwen is one hell of a crazy woman. lols. she's just so high and hyper every moment, and sometimes i just wonder if she belongs to this world. she doesnt seem to have any worries. tht girl ar. just so nice and cute.

then i went back to homeroom with cheryl. rubini, samantha, shamini, tanya and yiting, were alr there. they were trying on the costumes for the modelling later tht night. rubini spent such a long time trying to wear the saree for samantha. and tht silly sam. she was trying to cover her stomach, cause she didnt want to expose her fats in her tummy, but forgetting tht she was alr half exposed(i shall not elaborate). lols.

so samantha stood on a table, and rubini stood on a chair, trying to wrap her up with the saree. and it took quite a long time for everything to be actually done. oh. and i appiled makeup for samantha and yiting. both of them were so noisy. they kept on asking me not to put on too thick of makeup for them. espcially yiting. so noisy. and after whn everything was done, my my. they both looked so chio okay. still complain and whine before tht. so silly.

then it was finally time for everyone to gather at the hardcourt. before tht, there was so much of a hassel for cheryl and me, cause we were checking out if everyone brought the food, and everything. the canteen was so messy. food all over the place. so messy, so horrible. okay. then we assembled for the concert. waha. the little ij girls from ij kellock primary, and ij bukit timah primary performed for us. and they were so cute. oh my god. so so cute.

then after tht it started to drizzled, and everyone were asked to find a dry spot to have dinner. and tht was the most messy part. kylie suggested tht we go to the light house to have our dinner, and the whole class went there. but in the end, kylie wasnt there. then i heard tht they had changed the venue to outside the library. and everyone went there. and after tht, mrs low said tht we were suppose to be back at the hardcourt. it was so messy. so irritating.

and we finally settled down, and were trying to eat, and there was this whole mess of food. food was everywhere arnd me. i was like sitting in the middle of all the food. aiyo. and we spilled coke and cherryade accidentally all over the place. haha. so horrible. but i think it was still quite fun la.

then we had to clear up. and samantha and yiting won the first award for the modelling okay. waha. we were so happy. and we started screaming. lols. we're a bunch of crazy and hyper girlos. and then it was the fusion dance. lols. so funny. everyone was dancing and shaking. i was laughing like crazy. it was just so fun. my my. after everything, the councillors flimed homerun and everyone just set down and watched. it was somehow nice to see people of all races sitting down and watching a chinese movie. yupps.

oh yeah. and cecilia appeared. waha. i so missed her okay. she was so nice to gimme a call whn she was in school. and i think she had became so chio now. preety woman ar. wanted to catch up with her, but she disappeared. lols. anyway, some of us left early, even before the show ended. i was alr so tired, and so hot and stinky, so i decided to take a cab home, since daddy couldnt send me home.

uhh. tht was all tht happened during racial harmony night. it was really so nice, so fun and so funny. lols. okayokay. i shall ask michelle if i can upload the pictures taken tht day from her, and i shall upload them here alright. so there. takecare aye. much loves!!

2004-07-25T01:31:00.000-07:00

i think this song is so great. i love it.

avril lavigne; my happy ending

so much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh..
let's talk this over
its not like we're dead
was it something i did?
was it something you said?
dont leave me hanging
in a city so dead
held up up so high
on such a breakable thread

you were all the things i thought i knew
and i thought we could be

chorus.
you were everything, everything that i wanted
we were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
and all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
all this time you were pretending
so much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh..

you've got your dumb friends
i know what they say
they tell you im difficult
but so are they
but they dont know me
do they even know you?
all the things you hide from me
all the shit that you do

you were all the things i thought i knew
and i thought we could be

chorus.
its nice to know you were there
thanks for acting like you cared
and making me feel like i was the only one
its nice to know we had it all
thanks for watching as i fall
and letting me know we were done

chorus x2.
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh..

2004-07-24T04:43:00.000-07:00

waha. i came across this new layout, and i think its preetaye sweet. dont you think so too. so i decided to try it out. i havent put any tagboard on this blog yet. i'll do it tomorrow. i still like my plain layout, but im trying this out for some time. whn i get sick of it, i will change it to my old plain one. yeaps.

anw, my computer is finally fixed. so now, im back blogging. i havent been using my comp since last thursday i think. thts like quite a long time ago. and i really missed my comp and everything. so happy tht its done.

this week had been quite happening, but i dont think i'll blog abt it today. i shall blog sgn maybe tomorrow. ive got to let my sista and brother who are so excited tht the computer is fixed to use it. they're bugging and pissing me. so annoying. lols.

so there. takecare aye. much loves!!

2004-07-15T05:18:00.000-07:00

alright. i just heard some news from huajia. i dunno whether its really or not, cause according to mr tan, its not like tht. i dunno which is right. anw, huajia said tht if we beat crescent in goals difference, then we'll be able to go into the quarters. or unless some miracle happens, crescent lose to farjar, (which i think will be quite impossoble) then we'll be in the quarters. this is so confusing.

anw, we shall just play for our pride's sake tomorrow. ive cheered up quite alot, put aside all those sad things, and im ready to play agn. ive gotten over all the scoldings mr bulb had given me. and i shall start agn. i mean, no point taking all his words to heart, and feel so bad abt it. anw, i noe all those mistakes ive done, so i'll try my best to correct them. yeaps.

anw, i think daddy is just so so so nice. too nice sometimes. he's the bestest best daddy in the world okay. although i had a major quarell with mummy and him ystd for accusing me of doing smth tht i didnt. but i think he's still so nice. he bought for me smth i wanted, and ya, he bought fresh coconut for me to eat okay. im so touched. lols. i just love my daddy.

waha. im so happy now, i dunno why. and oh, its the fifteenth today. if ure' reading this. you noe what you shld do aye. lols. so there. takecare and restwell aye. much loves!!

ure still seem so delicious to me`

2004-07-15T04:55:00.000-07:00

ohh. ive been in love with this song for quite some time. cause it think its really nice. lols. anw, mcfly; obviously. whee!!

mcfly; obviously.

recently ive been,
hopelessly reaching
out for this girl,
who's out of this world.
believe me.

she's got a boyfriend
he drives her round the bend
cos he's 23
he's in the marines
he'd kill me

for so many nights now
i find myself thinking about her now.

'cause obviously,
she's out of my league
but how can I win
she keeps draggin' me in and
i know i never will be good enough for her.

no, no
never will be good enough for her.

gotta escape now
get on a plane now. yeah
off to L.A and that's where i'll stay, for two years.
for cheating

i'll put it behind me(i'll put it behind me)
go to a place where she cant find me. yeah.

'cause obviously,
she's out of my league,
I'm wastin' my time
'cause she'll never be mine
i know i never will be good enough for her.
no, no
never will be good enough for her

she's outta my head
and i never know where i stand
cause i know im not good enough for her
he's good enough for her (for her, for her)

[[ `for so many nights now, i find myself thinking abt you*

2004-07-14T05:14:00.000-07:00

im so so tired, but im so so so happy and satisfied with today's trng. i mean, today's trng was really great. ms martens was there, but mr bulb wasnt there. mr tan wasnt there too. only ms martens was there today. and i think i really enjoy her trng. so fun.

but whn she first reached delta, she seem to be quite angry with us. cause most of us were doing nothing, just talking and standing arnd. she didnt exactly scold us, but she somehow shown tht she wasnt really happy with what the lower secs are doing. and so, everyone started becoming more serious.

and i think ms martens was quite satisfied with our performance today. she cheered up quite abit after trng. she even volunteered to fetch the cage of balls and cones home. lols. tht was really very nice of her. i guess, we changed her mood and a little of her perspective towards us, through this whole two hours trng. hahs.

and im beginning to gain my confidence back after today's trng. its the same for brenda, carolyn, and i believe the rest of the team. i think we can play better without having too much pressure and the harsh scoldings from mr bulb. his scoldings are really scary and hurting. but after all, i understand tht its all for our own well-being. and i respect mr bulb for all tht. really.

so there. im in such a happy mood now. waha. shall stop here, and get a rest. take care aye. much loves!!

`ive got heaven on the inside of me ]]*

2004-07-13T03:39:00.000-07:00

didnt blog ystd. sighs. ystd was a really bad day. maybe i shld say tht it was prolly one of the worst day of my life. sighs. the game and everything was crap and shit ystd. i got some hell scolding frm mr bulb. i havent heard him scold someone so fiercely or whatever like he did to me, all my life. i mean, the way he scolded me was total hell. i havent heard him scream at anyone so severly before. i swear. sighs.

dun really want to blog abt ystd. and if you want to noe the outcome of the game, im really sorry. we lost. the score was 2-0. sighs.

to the team and the seniors:
im really so sorry tht i screwed up the first half of the game. i was really confused abt my position, cause mr bulb was telling me to stay down, and the seniors asked me to stay in the center. and in the end, i got a hell of scolding frm mr bulb. i somewhat didnt stick to our match plan. im not blaming anyone. it was all my fault. all my fault. im so sorry. and seniors, i noe tht ure all very disappointed in us. we've been letting you all down agn and agn. im full of regrets and i feel really remoseful to even talk to you all agn. it was all my fault. im sorry.

im feeling so faithless;

2004-07-10T05:47:00.000-07:00

omg. i just recieved a bad news frm nicolette. she told me tht dora will not be able to play on monday, and i guess the next few games. cause she caught chicken pox. what a time for her to catch tht. sighs. but luckily brenda trained for full-back this week while dora is away. phew.

alright. im tired, and im feeling like crap. dun have much mood to continue blogging. takecare and yeaps. loves!!

2004-07-09T05:20:00.000-07:00

my post for today is below this, so scroll down to read aye.
anw, i really like this song. i dunno why, but i need to listen to it before i fall aslp everynight.

britney spears; everytime.

notice me, take my hand
why are we strangers when
our love is strong
why carry on without me

everytime i try to fly, i fall
without my wings, i feel so small
i guess need you, baby
and everytime i see you in my dreams
i see your face, it's haunting me
i guess i need you, baby

i make believe that you are here
it's the only way see clear
what have i done
you seem to move on easy

and everytime i try to fly, i fall
without my wings, i feel so small
i guess i need you, baby
and everytime i see you in my dreams
i see your face, you're haunting me
i guess i need you, baby

i may have made it rain
please forgive me
my weakness caused you pain
and this song's my sorry

at night i pray
that soon your face will fade away

and everytime i try to fly, i fall
without my wings, i feel so small
i guess i need you, baby
and everytime i see you in my dreams
i see your face, you're haunting me
i guess I need you, baby

2004-07-09T04:46:00.000-07:00

aye. im so so tired. this has been a long long school week. monday to friday has finally passed. the weekends are here. finally. this has been a dreading week for me. sometimes whn i close my eyes, i just hope tht they'll be shut forever. i dread waking up every morning to see this world. especially whn the world seems to hate me. somewhat.

my whole bed is full of all my little creatures, mummy said tht i shld open a disney farm or donate some of them to the poor children. lols. but i dunno why, i cant seem to part with them. they're just so soft, so nice, so cute. and always there whn i need them everynight. anw, i think they're really taking up alot of space on my bed. i cant toss and turn properly whn i sleep at night. so funny.

anyhows, gehui wants me to help to promote their stall at youth park tomorrow. okay. there'll be a event/some small funfair held at youth park tomorrow, frm 11-8am. they'll be selling stuffs and food i guess, to raise funds for club rainbow. uhh. i hope i got tht right. so, pls drop by and have fun aye. yeaps.

and hockey girls, trng tomorrow is at delta. 7-8am. mr bulb wants us to be down by 630am. so, rest well and be there early okay. yupps.

my eyes are dry, and im getting tired. i shall take out my contacts now, and try to catch some sleep, before waking up agn later.

takecare and rest well aye. loves!!

falling in love with you was my greatest mistake;

2004-07-08T05:29:00.000-07:00

oh no. my my. im getting so tired, as day and days passed. we're trng everyday. everyday okay. and its really really so so tiring, and stressful. i stress on this most stressful word, STRESS!! ohwell. im stressed over so many things. can't possibly name all, but the two major ones, is the c'div tourni and my sch work(the exams are coming!).

okayokay. im getting so stressed, tht i came up with some crazy and silliest ideas, i doubt anyone can ever think of, to de-stress. i shall not say them here. they're too stupid to be said. arh well.

i can't take it anymore. im really so tired, i dunno what to do. all i can think of is, sleep. and thts the worst thing i could have ever done now. im alr chasing time, but i still want to sleep. im such a piggy. sighs.

anw, went to wisma before trng today to pierce my ears. uhh. and its done now. so i have four earholes now. but i must hide them during school time, and whn assembly. so mafan de.

and im really pissed with sasha, samantha and the rest. how can they say tht i look like dunno what whn i just cut my fringe. i mean, there's no big deal abt tht. i still look the same. not like i became some monster right. i still look like charisa. and i love joanne and the rest okay. they say tht my hair is nice. lols. its so stupid and contridicting. some say tht its bad, but some say tht its nice. sighs.

alright. i shall just stop here. i need to catch some sleep before waking up and completing all my assignments. see. charisa is such a good girl. lols. no larh. i noe im crapping. so there.

especiall to all the c'div hockey girlos:
aye! i noe trngs are getting really tough and tiring. but we must not slack in our studies okay. and we shall continue trng hard and play well for all our coming games okay. our trngs and hardwork shall not be in vain. we'll do it de. we'll all study and work hard together. aye aye!! so there. you girlos mean so much to me, and i really really love you girls. take great care. sleep well.

much much of charisa's sweets loves!! muahx.

2004-07-07T05:07:00.000-07:00

this shall be a really short post. just rushed home frm trng. trng today was frm 6-7 at delta. and now im really tired. okayokay. time is getting so little. im chasing time now. i dun have enough time to study alr. so im starting to stay up till late every night and start mugging. ive regreted enough, and im not gonna repeat all these agn. frm now onwards, im gonna study really hard and do well for the exams. i dun care what it takes. i'll just do my best. so i wont really be online tht often alr. so there. takecare people. much loves!!

2004-07-06T03:57:00.000-07:00

although ive nvr liked shrek due to some reasons, i love this song.

counting crows.
accidentally in love.

so she said what's the problem baby
what's the problem i don't know
well maybe i'm in love
think about it every time
i think about it
can't stop thinking bout it

how much longer will it take to cure this
Just to cure it cause i can't ignore it if it's love
makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing bout love

come on, come on
turn a little faster
come on, come on
the world will follow after
come on, come on
cause everybody's after love

so i said i'm a snowball running
running down into the spring that's coming all this love
melting under blue skies
belting out sunlight
shimmering love

well baby i surrender
to the strawberry ice cream
never ever end of all this love
well I didn't mean to do it
but there's no escaping your love

these lines of lightning
mean we're never alone,
never alone, no, no

come on, come on
move a little closer
come on, come on
i want to hear you whisper
come on, come on
settle down inside my love

come on, come on
jump a little higher
come on, come on
if you feel a little lighter
come on, come on
we were once
upon a time in love

we're accidentally in love
accidentally in love

accidentally

i'm in love, i'm in love,
i'm in love, i'm in love,
i'm in love, i'm in love,
accidentally

come on, come on
spin a little tighter
some on, come on
and the world's a little brighter
come on, come on
just get yourself inside her

love...i'm in love

miss you like crazy

i used to call you my girl
i used to call you my friend
i used to call you the love
the love that i never had

when i think of you
i dont know what to do
when will i see you again?

i miss you like crazy
even more than words can say
i miss you like crazy
rvery minute of everyday
girl, i'm so down when you're love's not around
i miss you
miss you
miss you
i miss you like crazy

you're all that i want
you're all that i need
you're all that i need)
can't you see how i feel?
can't you see that my pain's so real?

when I think of you
i dont know what to do
when will I see you again?

i miss you like crazy

2004-07-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

i dont have any mood to blog today.
the world hates me.
so there.

2004-07-04T05:09:00.000-07:00

went for the IJ art fest at chijmes ystd. it was more or less boring. the weather was so hot. and i was practically melting. but smth nice, is to see all the IJ girls frm all the CHIJ schools come all together. i could have felt the warmth there. thts the nice part. and i found out smth tht i think is quite true. the CHIJ community made up quite a number of crazy and bitchy girls you see in town everyday. lols.

went to church today. and i found out tht im in part of the service for praise and worship every sunday for the second half of this year. i can feel the pressure coming to me, somehow. its actually quite a heavy responsibilty to do God's work and serve in his church.

smth bad abt myself i found out recently: i seem to get stressed over every other little things thts happening. didnt noe i was such a happening girl. lols

ohwell. i need smth terribly now. i need my POREPACK. but ive finished using all tht i have, and ive forgot to buy a new packet just now. someone pls get me one right now. dammit. all those hockey girls who attended the hockey camp shld noe tht i cant live without porepacks. i even use them during camps okay. i need my POREPACK right NOW!!

okayokay. i shall stop here, and look for my porepack. then i shall sleep for awhile, and catch the euro cup finals later. anyways, i hope portugal will win. so there. takecare. tata.

your love makes me sing*]]

2004-07-02T05:59:00.000-07:00

whees. today's game was good. we won fajar. the score was 5-0. though we won this game, we could hve played much better. but i think we're improving frm where we were the previous game. and i think everyone is trying harder, and the communications are building up, bit by bit. and everything seems very encouraging. well done girls. way to go, girlos!

the game before us was crescent girls vs teckwhye. and smth really unexpected happened. teckwhye beat crescent. 1-0. i mean, i didnt expect this to happen. really. even though crescents beat us, ive still hoped tht they would win today, but they didnt. maybe they had underestimated them.

smth really important tht we shld learn frm this lesson. we shldn't be over-confident and complacent tht we'll win. sometimes, unexpected things happens. its really a great lesson to learn. okay. i shall not comment too much on their game larh.

anyhows, tomorrow and sunday is the celebrations for the 150yrs of CHIJ sprit. some art fest. and its all held at chimes. so cool right. im going. uhh. anyone gg, drop me a sms or gimme a call aye.

so there. thts abt it. i took a cab frm boonlay home okay. im tired. shall stop here. takecare ppl. much loves!!

everything is a choice`

2004-07-01T05:43:00.000-07:00

hai. trng today was really crap. i didnt noe what exactly i was doing. all i felt was tired and irritated. i was pmsing the whole damn day, even during lessons. and mr bulb scolded the hell out of me. sometimes it wasnt my fault, but he still had to scold me. and i felt damn bad. sighs.

and whn i reached home, i found out smth tht i didnt want to have at this time.

-

period/+

grr. so annoying. okayokay. i need to rest well tonight. ive got a game tmr. and im feeling so tired. whatsoevershit. anyways, i shall not blog too much here alr. i need to continue to do my art homework. its due tmr, but im only starting now. sighs.

tomorrow's game. theresian vr fajar. NTU. 4.30pm. uhh.

so there. takecare girlos. restwell. much loves!!

`theworldhatesme

2004-06-30T05:29:00.000-07:00

okay. i think ive got over ystd's game. ive thought over it. no point feeling disheartened over it anyway. i mean, so what if we've lost. the most important thing is tht we learnt frm all the silly mistakes tht we've made, and dont repeat them anymore. thts the most important thing.

i remembered one thing tht happened whn i was young. i did smth really wrong. and my daddy was really disappointed and angry with me. and the next day, he came back with this very big poster, and stuck in on the wall. the poster writes like this.

whn you make a mistake
there're only three things you shld ever do abt it
1) admit it
2) learn frm it
3) dont repeat it

this poster had a really great impact on me. i can still remember it even till now. and i think the poster is still somewhere inside my cupboard. maybe i shld go and look for it someday.

the the nicest thing is, everyone arnd is telling me tht its not the end tht we've lost. we can still go on. they believed tht we've done our best, and we can do better. all the things tht say were really conforting, and they really made me feel better. i noe tht we've let all of them down. but i promise tht we'll do much better all the coming games okay. we'll not let anyone down anymore. we'll die to win the game. promise.

anyhows, our next coming game is on
2july, friday and its at NTU. theresian vs fajar.
its near boon lay, and its quite far frm sch. its not really very mobile for you girls to get there, but pls keep the hockey team in your prayers aye.

yupps. uhh. and one funnywierd thing. im beginning to enjoy geography lessons more and more. i dunno whyy, but i think mr tan kok wah(smth like tht) has a really good way of teaching. his lessons are full of jokes and fun. and i think thts a better way to deliever lessons. at least its not so boring like all the other lessons i had before.

ohs, and i can remember mr chua teaching us geography last yr. she's one wierd one. eekks. omg. she comes into class with some super yuckyuck shoes tht're really horrible. i remember there was one red pair, with a big golden ribbon stuck onto it. yuck. and i think her lessons are practially catching girls with low belts and cutting them off. and plus talking abt the environment and how important the plants are, and abt how we must take good care of them and water them everyday. so crap.

alright. enough of talking abt mrs chua. just so glad tht she's not our geography teacher this yr. phew. yeppers. thts abt all. i gtg now. i need to finish up my homework and get some rest. im tired. so there girlos. takecare. loves!

we're moving on`

2004-06-29T04:12:00.000-07:00

aye. this shall be a short post. i'll be off soon. i need to get some sleep and wake up to finish my homework later in the night. ive got overdue hols assignments tht're yet to be completed, and i must finish them by tonight. so there.

today's game was a failure. we lost to crescent girls. and the score was 3-0. sighs. we shldnt have let in any goals in the first place. two of the goals were deflected into thhe goal. those two were really the accidental ones. those two were all our fault. we could have prevented them frm entering the goal. we could have. another goal was scored by a penalty flick. sighs.

its my fault. i screwed up the first half of the game. i think i was too tensed up and stressed whn the first goal was let in. i missed a few balls tht i hit, and i think i really played extremely badly in the first half. but the second half was much better. everyone ran harder and tried harder. we were greatly motivated by ms quek during the break between the first and second half. she really spoke right into me. and i wanted to do better then what i did during the first half. and i think i did.

the c'div team:
heyy. today's game was a failure. we lost. it wasnt paticularly anyone's fault. its all our fault, everyone's fault. though we played really badly during the first half, i think tht all of us played much better during the second half. really. i guess we were all motivated by what mr tan, ms quek and hema said. everyone played better then. i noe we did. even though we've lost this game, this is only the first game. its not the end yet. we must get it back. dont be disheartened. we must proud of theresian hockey. we cant be letting anyone else down alr. we must all win this friday's game okay. we MUST. think hard and reflect on today's game. rmb all tht we've learnt today. takecare and restwell. cyas in sch tomorrow. many many much loves!!

cause we lost it`

2004-06-28T03:59:00.000-07:00

first day of sch.

today havent been really exciting or happening either. and i think my whole day was half screwed by some stuffs. didnt really enjoy the first day of sch. was saddened by some bad stuffs before sch starts, and was caught during the last second period for my low belt and socks by the stupid and annoying mrs chua. and she was abt to send me to the VP/DM whn mrs kong(P), mrs poh(VP) and ms martens(VP) coincidentally walked pass. and ms martens was really angry abt what she saw. after all, im a hockey girl. and frm what i heard, she'll suspend me frm trngs and games if she ever catches me with my low belt and socks agn. this is getting a lil too serious. dammit.

we're starting on geog this semester and we have mr tan kok wah who'll be teaching us. and i find him quite a fun and bubbly teacher to teach us. he's full of jokes and whn we're nice to him, he'll be nice to us too. ohs. we had the first session of dance lesson too. i find ms queenie quite a nice and funky dance teacher too.

oh yah. my hair was screwed. i really regreted cutting slope on my fringe. it was nice at first, but became so messy. but i didnt want to wear my hairband. its just spoiling my hair anw. and my fringe was super messy and whnever the wind starts blowing, it'll spread all over my face. it was such a great mess. and everyone was asking me whyy i looked so different today. and i had to tell them the whole story of whyy i cut my fringe.

stressed/-

i can feel more and more pressure stacking up on me. im feelling really stressed for tmr's game. its our first game, and we're playing against crescent. and the worser thing is, mr bulb wont be there throughtout the whole game. he'll be there before the game to brief us and tell us the matchplan and he'll leave shortly after. i heard tht his RI hockey boys are also playing on the same day as us, and i guess he'll leave for their game or smth. but whyy cant he be there whn we need him. we need him to be there to scream and scold us. and i noe we really need him. sighs.

the worst thing is. it seems tht half the world thinks tht stc is not gonna win tmr's game. i dunno whyy is it so. but it seem as though half the world had alr given up on stc. it really feels so bad to hear tht. its really saddening and hurting maybe to hear tht. and whyy must even some of the closest people have to think tht too. whyy. are we really tht bad and beyond any hope. whyy must half the world give up on us. whyy.

but so what if the world had given up on us. i havent given up at all. and i noe tht everyone playing havent given up too.

the magic word:
[[`BELIEVE!!

the c'div team`
heyy girlos. the time had passed. its really fast. our first game starts tomorrow. i dont really want to believe tht, but it is so. the time has come for our c'div tourni to start. and the first team we're playing with, is crescent girls. tomorrow. i noe everyone is feeling stressed and pressurized somewhat, somehow. im feeling really stressed too. i really am. ive been thinking and thinking abt the coming game, all these days, and until the extend tht even whn i close my eyes to slp, i can imagine the ball rolling towards me. the ball has been haunting me in my slp. and after so much tht ive thought of, i became so stressed. tomorrow's game might not be an easy one, but tht doesnt mean tht we're not gonna win. so what if half the world had given up on us. so what. i mean, thts not the end. the most important thing is tht we ourselves are not giving up. we're not going to give up no matter what. its not what the world thinks abt us. its what we think abt ourselves, and what we can all do to prove tht the world is wrong. really. i noe it'll be a tough game tmr. it will. plus mr bulb wont be there to see us through the whole game. but we still have our seniors there for us. they'll be there encouraging us, and motivating us to move on. they'll always be with us. but no matter what, we must not give up. we must communicate as much as we can and keep on motivating each other throughout the whole game. we must keep on running, and keep on playing hard. as long as the game still continues, and until the last whistle is blown, we havent lost yet. we must keep on playing till the end. i believe tht if we put our hearts and souls together and try hard enough, we can win tmr's game. its not impossible. remember mr bulb's favourite quote: `we cant wait for things to happen. we must make things happen. and we'll make it happen tomorrow. i really hope tht everyone is motivated to win tmr's game. and remember to read your files before going to bed tonight. dont think so much. we'll just give our best tomorrow. drink lotsa water. sleepwell and restwell tonight. we'll do it girlos. much loves!!

2004-06-27T04:33:00.000-07:00

okay. i shall blog a short post today. went to church in the morning, and after service, the whole youth went for lunch at some hotel. but i didnt eat alot. it was quite fun larh. and then i went home after tht.

im going to go and get a pair of turf shoes and new shin-guards later. mr bulb says tht if we're not properly attired he'll not allow us to play. i need turf shoes and new shin-guards. cause mine is a lil too small i guess. and mr bulb has been making noise and i think ive got to get a new one. so there.

arh wells. sch is starting tmr. and i tell you smth stupid. i havent finished my hols assignments, and i dunno if i can rush through and finish them by tonight. dammit. i think i'll just stay up to watch the soccer match later, and at the same time do my homework. tht sounds like okay right. mmhm.

rightio! sch is starting tmr. i somewhat cant wait to get back to sch. i guess i missed everyone quite abit. lols. and ive got new hair now. hehhs. okayokay. thts abt it. i shall go and buy my new turf shoes now. takecare aye. cyas in sch tmr. much loves girlos!!

2004-06-26T06:16:00.000-07:00

im such a pig. i slept frm 5 till 9pm. okay. thts abt four hrs. maybe not a pig larh. lols. i was really tired. trng today was so long, i dunno how to explain it. okay, read on then.

today was quite a bad day. i was late for trng, but not on purpose. i didnt mean to be late okay. cause granny had a fall and was admitted to the hospital. sighs. and we had to visit her at the hospital in the morning, and as a result, i was late. i rushed home to get my stuffs, and cab to sch, but i was still quite late. i was 40minutes late. crap. but mr bulb didnt chase me home, cause i had a good reason. phew.

today's trng was damn long okay. we trained for four and a half hrs. lols. it was really a long trng. but we didnt run much. so it was still okay. we did quite alot of hitting and sweeping, and towards the end, mr bulb confirmed who are the girls tht'll be registered for this tourni and he explained the game plan to us. then we did defence and short-corners attack. yeaps.

i didnt noe i was involved in the defending during short-corners. okay. maybe not. maybe i was just taking bernetta's place. im not sure also, but i trained for the defence part too. it was, i guess my first time doing it, and i made alot of mistakes. and mr bulb scolded me quite abit. but it was okay. and now i noe how to defend during a short corner attack alr. so i might need to drop and defend during short corners. wells thts for mr bulb to decide anw.

we did short corner attacks too. tht one was easier for me. cause ive trained for quite alot for tht. but we did different situations today. and i made alot of mistakes at first too. and mr bulb was scolding me like anything. he scolded me alot today. i think the most tht he've ever scolded me okay. he's really scary and i was so scared, sometimes, i just want to run away and hide. lols. but of course i didnt do tht. it'll be silly to do tht.

im really anxious and stressed for this coming tourni. everyone is, i guess. i mean, who cant help feeling abit worried for this tourni. sighs. and the first game is alr so near. next tuesday, and we're playing with crescent. i dunno how well crescent is playing now, and im quite sure tht crescent is also trying to guess how we're doing now. ohwell, we'll all see on tuesday.

thts abt it all. im feeling too high to continue blogging. i shall go look for smth to eat. im hungry. the last meal i ate was at, err, 1pm? okayokay. my tummy is growling. i need food. yupps.

take great care people. enjoy the last day of your june hols tomorrow. and we'll all be back to sch mugging agn aye. lols. much loves!!

[[`even angels would be homesick in the forsaken town/+

2004-06-25T05:45:00.000-07:00

this is the last friday of the june hols. the hols are coming to an end agn. everyone will be going back to sch, and it'll soon be time to start mugging for the exams agn. part of me doesnt want the hols to end, but part of me wants to go to back to sch agn. i somehow missed sch, so surprisingly, but i really miss the sch days. not trying to be studious, but, i dunno whyy also. i guess i miss everyone. lols. tht sounds more like it aye.

i havent really started on my hols assignments, and i think ive still got alot more to go. dammit. the moment i think abt my assignments, i just feel suddenly saddened. i dont understand my work, and i still have alot to do. i think i'll be screwed whn sch starts, and whn the teachers collects those assignments. i noe i'll be screwed.

sighs. i really need help with my sch work. im extremely helpless with my maths and science. and i really need help, or else i'll die. my dear linhui has promised to help me with my sch work. and i'll make sure she keeps her words and really help me this time. im serious abt studying hard after this hols, and i must. i think ive played enough during this whole hols, and i really need to study hard alr. im now far behind time, and i really hope tht time will wait for me to catch up, but it will never. so i need to study really really hard this time.

ohs golly!! mummy just came home with a 2litre tub of icecream. mind you, its a whole 2 damn litres. dammit. how can mummy do this to me. she practically knows tht im on a diet, but she have to bring tht stupid thing home. they're trying to tempt me agn. grr.

alright. im tired. im going to rest now, and i'll watch soccer later in the morning. how can england bloody lose to portugal. and how can beckham miss the penalty. omg. how can this be. it was total madness. ohmyholyshit.

okayokay. i said i wanted to stop here, but i gt carried away. lols. i shall stop here. ohs, and someone just gimme a call just in case i oversleep okay. thts abt it. takecare aye. much loves!!

) )*winkwinks

2004-06-24T05:22:00.000-07:00

had trng in sch today. we did physical trng and we played 2sides. it wasnt really as tiring like those we did before. but i think trng was okay. ohs, and we went to town after tht. it was quite fun, mmhm maybe not. okay. huajia was crazy today. she kept on holding on to my hand(ahem!). and the worst thing was, she didnt want to let go. eekks. it was quite annoying, but i think its quite funny. lols. i dunno whyy.

okay. i shall write smth for her to make her happy.
huajia!! you silly girl. happy alr right. i became your girlfrend for today. better be happy(lols). ohs, and you still owe me my powerpuff girls colouring book. gimme soon okay. im thinking of it. sighs. i want it, i want it!!

sighs. now im trying to figure out what is the best place to go. where shld we go tomorrow. go tanning at sentosa or singing at k-box. or maybe go shopping for all the bimbo stuffs. i really have no idea which is the better place to go. sighs. BIGsigh.

okayokay. please gimme a idea of where to go aye. and if you want to come along, you can just gimme a call or drop me a msg. rightio. thts abt it for today. takecare aye. much loves!!

) )*winkwinks

2004-06-23T05:04:00.000-07:00

im currently trying to figure out smth tht has been in my mind for a long long time. but i cant seem to get an answer. nono. its actually more like this. i seem to have a problem in my mind, but it seems tht i dont even noe what the problem is. its like recalling smth, but not knowing what it is. i noe there is a problem, but i dunno what the problem is. and im thinking and thinking, but everything tht runs through my mind is nothing related to what i think the problem is. i mean, thts what i feel. the more i think abt it, the more blurr i get. and this is getting more and more confusing. i noe tht there's a problem, but i dont seem to know whats the problem.

okayokay. i think ure starting to feel a lil blurr after reading what ive typed right. im actually feeling much more blurr then what ure feeling now. and so tht means tht im really blurr now. hur. i dunno what im typing. i just want to know whats the stupid problem is, and figure it out. but i seem to get more and more lost in my thoughts. maybe i shld continue thinking through the night whn i cant sleep. tht'll be better. and who noes, maybe i'll be so tired after thinking, i fall asleep. i hope so aye.

went to school today. was supposingly suppose to help mrs martens sort the old school photos with carolyn and hitomi. but carolyn had a headache in the morning, and she didnt go to school. hitomi and i went to school, and guess what. mrs martens wasnt there. okay. and we didnt have anything much to do. so we went to the canteen and start talking. and now i realised smth. miss hitomi toh only appears to be soft-spoken and quiet. but the thing is, hitomi is really a noisy and talkative girl! she only appears to be quiet. but now i find her a loud and interesting girl to talk to. i noe tht it seem to be a lil hard to believe, but im serious.

and we went to town after tht. i took such a long time to 'drag' hitomi to town with me okay. she didnt want to go at first, cause she says tht she wants to go home and do her homework. such a good girl right. i must start learning frm her. lols. but in the end, she still went to town with me. hehhs. we met ruth after tht and we went shopping arnd taka. and we went to cine after tht. and, err, i think i shldn't blog abt tht. lols. okayokay.

and after tht, hitomi left, and only ruth and i was left in town. and i realised smth. ruth is such a glutton. she eats and eats. non-stops. and she is always tempting me with all the food she eats. but im not suppose to eat cause im on a diet. hahs. wah. tht girl arh, i tell you, she'll be hungry after a lil while, and she'll start wanting to eat. and she keeps on eating and eating. eat so much. sighs.

mummy is totally unreasonable. i dunno whats with her, she starts scolding and screaming at me the moment she steps home. i really dunno whats the problem with her. i didnt even do anything wrong okay. and before i can even explain to her anything, she'll start scolding me. what is this. i really want to scold her sometimes. its not like everything is my fault. but she seem to think tht im the cause of every problem and everything bad. she'll start accusing and scolding me and whatsoevershit without even making sure its my fault. i noe she has her moods too, but its getting abit too much. i cant stand the way she thinks tht everything is my fault. what a bitch.

and mummy has just spoilt my mood for the night. so annoying. and now im in a horrible bad mood now. idiot. i really hate the way she thinks tht everything is my fault. i hate the way she scolds me without any reasons. and i hate the way she plays her moods on me. whatsoevershit.

tht shall be all till now. im cheese-ed off and i dont have any mood left to continue blogging. takecare aye. much loves!!

2004-06-22T04:13:00.000-07:00

oh my, my. i didnt sleep at all last night okay. AT ALL! i didnt even use the eyeliner, but my eyes look as if its eyeliner-ed. tht means im starting to have eye-rings. and even mummy realised tht. crap. i think i really need to go and see a doctor who specialist in sleeping illness. i dont even noe what kind of sickness i have. maybe its insomia. i somehow just cant get to sleep. i dunno whyy.

i really dont want to start on sleeping pills. i mean, i was on them before, and i feel like i was on drugs and i really dont want to start on them agn. i havent been sleeping well, and even eating well these days. my life seem to get more and more screwed. and i cant let it continue to be screwed anymore.

whn can i start sleeping like normal agn. maybe i shldn't sleep for few days, and try tiring myself out. then i think i'll be able to sleep. and i dont mind sleeping for days. i really want my sleep back.

all these sleepless nights are killing me.

trng today wasnt really good for me. it seem to be super long. i was feeling damn shagged(cause i didnt sleep and i was tired!) i could almost feel myself wanting to pass out anytime. i was alr getting ready to faint or smth. lols. i noe im silly, but i was feeling really bad at tht time. but luckily i didnt. i still continued through the whole trng.

and i got scolded by mr bulb anyways(as usual). he always scream and yell at us. i didnt really mind him scolding me and all during all the previous trngs, but i felt really bad today. i dunno whyy. i mean, i alr tried my best okay. and i was feeling damn tired and i didnt want to go on actually. but i still continued. i tried. but he still have to scold me agn and agn. okay. maybe it was partly my fault too. i shld have tried harder or smth. sighs.

this whole hols seem to be my saddest one. it havent been really very happening. didnt get all the time of the world to play like how i used to play during all the other hols i had. almost everyday was hockey, hockey and hockey. i dont mind, i love hockey, but im getting really tired. but im still going on. i really hope i have all the strength and energy to move on. i have to. and i will, willingly.

i can feel the pressure coming to me, slowly and slowly. i dunno whyy, but i feel really pressurized for the coming c'div tourni. its not going to be easy this time. i noe its not. we have to move on with what we have now, what we are now. okayokay. i shldn't think too much. i cant be discourage. i have to continue to stay strong.

nothing much to say at the ending now. just hope tht i'll stop suffering frm sleepless nights and i'll get my sleep back soon. and i want to be eating well agn. and hope tht everyone is happy with the hols and stay happy. school term is going to start soon. hope to see everyone really soon. yeaps.

much loves!!

2004-06-22T01:41:00.000-07:00

this love.

i was so high i did not recognize
the fire burning in her eyes
the chaos that controlled my mind
whispered goodbye and she got on a plane
never to return again
but always in my heart

this love has taken its toll on me
she said goodbye too many times before
and her heart is breaking in front of me
i have no choice cause i won't say goodbye anymore

i tried my best to feed her appetite
keep her coming every night
so hard to keep her satisfied
kept playing love like it was just a game
pretending to feel the same
then turn around and leave again

this love has taken its toll on me
she said goodbye too many times before
and her heart is breaking in front of me
i have no choice cause i won't say goodbye anymore

i'll fix these broken things
repair your broken wings
and make sure everything's alright
my pressure on her hips
sinking my fingertips
into every inch of you
cause I know that's what you want me to do

2004-06-21T06:39:00.000-07:00

arh wells. ive just changed my blog layout to smth much more plain and simple. and i think tht its quite nice though. its not as complicated and sophiscated as those tht i had before, but i still think its nice. after all, this layout looks better then my previous one. right?

my head is spinning. i noe tht im going to suffer frm insomia tonight agn. tonight will be another sleepless night for me. someone who cant sleep, pls start msg-ing me or gimme a call aye. sighs.

ohs, i forgot this. hockey girls, we're planning to go to sentosa this friday. we'll prolly go to palawan/siloso beach to tann and play. lols. pls try to make yourselves available alright. and pass this msg to the hockey girls arnd aye. we'll confirm everything during tmr's trng. yeaps.

okayokay. hockey trng tmr starts frm, 9-11am at NTU.

so, everyone gets a good night rest and forget abt all troubles and worries okay. this is our last week left to train. we must make use of our last precious week aye. take good care. rest well.

) )*winkwinks

2004-06-20T04:36:00.000-07:00

ohs golly. i didnt realise tht i didnt blog for so many days. alrights. the past few days wasnt really eventful or anything. nothing much to do(as usual) and was quite bored. i guess i just keep on going to town. thts all i do all week.

okayokay. today was the finals for SHFunder18 girlsplate. and mr bubl wasnt there just now. sighs. we played with CSC B(yuhua's b'div). and we lost. the score was preeteh bad. 6-0. uhh. though i didnt really play today(only played for 10-15mins), i guess, everyone did preeteh okay today. maybe a lil lack of communication.

ohs, and our dear shaleen was hitted by the stick on the side of her forehead. she suffered from a small cut, and she bleed quite abit. but thankfully she's alright now. just hope tht everything is okay and she'll recover soon.

but overall wasnt tht bad though. and we're the runners-up for the girls plate. not too bad. yeaps. and we entered this tournament just for the exposure of it. especially for the c'div girls.

and i think the c'div girls have all done quite well. i think everyone imroved trmendously during the camp, and still improving trng by trng. and we're all getting more bonded as all the trngs pass. which is really a good thing. i mean, im really glad tht at least we're all going to somewhere together. not like before anymore.

this is to all the c'div girlos`
heyy. to all those who've played for the under18 tourni, well done. we're all doing really well. lets keep up the good work and the team bonded like always okay. time is running short for us. we dont have much time left like before. we have only a week more to train for our coming c'div tourni. our first game is on 29june(second day of school) and we're playing against crescent(as confirmed by mr tan). sighs. they might not be tht good, but yet they might not be tht bad. we must not underestimate them. and i think we must really put in alot and alot of effort to win this tourni. okay. maybe not win and get first, but at least the top3. at least. we must first train hard and get into the quarter finals before anything. thts our first goal alright. really hope tht everyone will train hard, and stay bonded through this hols, and even after tht. lets keep up all our good work, dont forget what we've learnt, and continue to learn and improve. take this week's trngs seriously and learnt as much as we can alrights. we'll do it girlos. takecare. restwells. cyas during trng. i l u *

`maybe fate fell short this time

2004-06-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

wells. im confused. sighs.

2004-06-16T06:34:00.000-07:00

aye.aye. im feeling much better today i guess. i was such a good girl okay. i stayed at home the whole day. so unlikely of charisa right. no larh. i didnt really sleep at all last night. plus i dont really have the mood to go out today. thts whyy i stayed at home. and i was so bored at home okay. so so bored. sighs.

ohs. ruth created a longjohnfamily blog. lols. so funny okay. go check out the links. longjohnfamily. hehhs. this blog is especially for the longjohnfamily of stc hockey. hahs. cause stc hockey loves longjohns. we eat longjohns everytime after trngs okay. hehhs. we're addicted to it. hur. and did i mention, i'll be the new bimbo waitress of the longjohnfamily. i shall wear a short mini skirt(ahem!) and serve the customers. lols.

and my nuer is back!! brenda is backk. whoo-hoo. really missed her alot okay. so glad tht she's back. but she missed the hockey camp. all tht funn tht we had. hahas. so funny. i cant think of tht alr. im going to start laughing. hehhs.

so yeahh. thts abt it. and i wont be going for hockey trng tmr. ive got doctor's appointment. yeaps. train hard girlos. longjohns will be waiting for all of you tmr. wheeeeeeees!

) )*winkwinks

2004-06-15T07:34:00.000-07:00

vulnerable.

im here all by myself,
just trying to think of smth to do,
just anything,
just to keep myself frm thinking abt yo[u*]

the hurt beneath me,
isnt only skin deep,
its soul deep.
the pain i feel cuts through my flesh,
and the hurt reaches till the depth of my soul.

i guess i still need you baby.
but i noe tht time will not turn back for us,
things will never be the same agn,
you'll never be mine agn.

i want to forget yo[u*]
but ure still looking so delicious.

hurtbyyo[u*]

2004-06-14T05:14:00.000-07:00

whee. i didnt blogg ystd. cause i went for a shopping spree with mummy. and i bought quite alot of clothes. yeaps. in total, i bought three jeans, one skirt, and six tops. all frm esprit and zara. lols. mummy was in such a happy mood, i dunno whyy, tht she agreed to buy all those clothes for me at one go. okay. thts good for me i guess.

ohs. and we had a hockey match with acjc. we won. the score was 5-0. yeaps. i think it was a good game. mr bulb wasnt there, but we were still be able to do well. okay. at least i think tht we tried. and i think everyone have given their best. just tht if everyone communicate more, we might be able to do better. uhh.

and there was an accident during the game. i think one of joan's ball was accidently deflected, and it smashed right into one of the acjc's girl mouth. and she immediately fell to the ground and cried. she was bleeding quite badly. i could see quite alot of blood flowing out of her mouth. and i think she broke two of her teeth or smth. sighs. tht girl was such a preeteh girl. and i really pity her for breaking two of her teeth. it was a total accident. no one wanted it to happen. but i still feel quite sad for tht girl. sighs.

alrights. back to today. went to town today(as usual). everyone wasnt available today. so i gave ruth a call, and i went out with her. lols. yeaps. ruth wanted to play lan, but i objected(like duh!). so we went shopping. hahs. it was really funny. everything we saw, we came to a conclusion, and we just laughed like crazyy. lols. all we did was laugh, laugh, and laugh. hahs.

ohs. then we met charmaine with her mummy and sister at taka. yeaps. and dunno what happened, we were so called 'shopping' with charmaine with her mummy and sister. lols. we just tagged along, and accompanied charmaine while her mummy tries on clothes. yeppers. it was quite fun larh, actually.

yeaps. thts bout it. i shall stop here as for now. im going to take a rest, and maybe study for awhile. ive got quite alot to catch up. sighs.

anyhows, takecare and enjoy your hols aye. loveya.

) )*winkwinks

2004-06-11T06:54:00.000-07:00

wheeeeeee. im finally back frm hockey camp. wahaha. it really feel so good to be home again. i missed many things. in fact, i think i missed everything. i really missed my room, my bed, my comp, and of course you guys. hehhs. okay. ive got alot of things to blog. so this will be a super longg post aye. and i'll briefly blogg abt the camp too.

oh my, oh my. i think ive got so much to blogg.

okay, honestly speaking. before this camp, i was really dreading to go for it. i noe tht it'll be really tough and tiring. and i thought tht its super long. five-day camp. but after the whole camp, it changed most of my perspective. it was a really great and enjoyable camp. and i think i really learnt alot frm it. alot.

okayokay. all we do is, train, train and train. we trained alot throughout these five days. we've got morning exercise(physical trng) every morning before day breaks, then we'll have a school trng, which can lasts frm between two-and-half, to close to four-hours. and we also have a 2hour pitch trng and NTU everyday. hahs. its sounds damn tough aye? but if you went through all these, you'll realise tht it wasnt tht tough, right girlos? well, we've all gone through it together, and still happily alive now. right. hehhs.

ohs. how i can i forget abt the viseo sessions(ahem!). wahaha. tht one is the best, i tell you. you noe whyy. cause the superr annoying, idiotic, irritating, silly and stupid mr tan lin how went to video all the trngs sessions we had. and at the end of everyday, during our video session, he'll play our whole trng processes and we'll be able to see all the angels(ahem!) perform. lols.

alright. back to the serious part. i think the video sessions were really useful. we're all able to see how ourselves perform during the trngs we had, and through the five days, we can really see each other improve. day by day. it was really great to see tht everyone was really trying, and training hard. its really nice to see everyone trying and improving at the same time. yeaps.

but i have to admit tht the videos we watched were really quite funny and hilarious at times. sometimes. hehhs. we could see all the silly mistakes tht we made, and i think tht was whyy mr bulb have to scream and yell at us so much during trngs. the mistakes we made were really silly. i think tht watching ourselves perform, was the best way to see and realise our mistakes. and i learnt alot through tht too. yeppers.

other then trngs, and everything, the rest of the time we spent together was really great. really, really. we talked about crazy stuffs and thought of so many crazyy ideas of what we shld make the person do, when we were playing truth or dare. we can even start laughing when we see each other laugh. its just like a contagious dieases tht spreaded so fast. soon, everyone was laughing. hehhs. all we did was just laughed, laughed and laughed.

i mean, all of us kinda bonded alot more through all those times we had with each other. okay. at least i felt tht way. i feel tht at least we're all going to somewhere together. it was much better then before. i think all of the sec2s bonded quite abit, and i hope tht we'll all stay bonded even after this camp. i hope tht this camp will be a good headstart for all of us to start bonding together and to train hard together for our coming c'div tourni.

and honestly, i can see tht the cresent hockers are really bonded. its obvious, and i noe tht everyone can see tht. they hang out together after trngs, and all the things they do just made them look very bonded. the togetherness they had, made me feel the warmth and i sometimes feel jealous, and i somehow hope tht our own team will be like tht too. and i think tht we've achieved quite abit through this whole camp. i hope tht all of us will stay as close kintted as we were in the future to come. i really hope.

and i think tht mr bulb wasnt as scary and as bad as we thought tht he was. during the first briefing when we had, he said tht off the field, he'll be a nice and lovable man. and it really seem tht way tht he said. i think tht he's a really nice man. he almost seem like a grand-daddy to me. he has our well-being in mind always. and we always comes first. i think tht he's really a great coach. having him as our coach, what more can we ask for. im really thankful for having a coach like mr bulb. he's one in a million. maybe one in a billion. one of a kind.

and maybe i can say tht he's the best hockey coach we can ever find on earth. mr bulb simply rock our hockey socks. aye girlos? wheeeeeees.

during the last de-briefing we had, i could really feel tht warmth tht everyone felt in themselves. the things tht mr bulb and mr tan said, made me realised tht im really fortunate to have all tht i have now. my school, my family, my frends, my house, my everything. and at one point of time, i dunno whyy, but i just feel like crying. i realised all the mistakes and short-comings tht ive made, and all the things tht ive somehow fallen-short of. and ive learnt how to appreciate all the things tht i have arnd me, and my everything.

and so i say. this camp was really a great learing process for me, and i hope so for the rest of you girlos too. i havent got enough of this camp. it was really great. the best i ever had. hockey camp 2004 rocks. i l u *

this is to all the hockey girls tht attended the camp, even for those who didnt attend it, and its especially for all the c'div girlos*

`heyy. this camp was really great. we went through this whole camp together. these five days sounded quite long at first. remember? but its over. and i somehow havent got enough of this camp. i noe tht all of you enjoyed it. ive come to noe more about all of you. and i really appreciated the way all of you are made. just the way you are. this is especially for the sec2s. all of us have bonded quite alot through this whole camp. remember the things and aims we said we wanted to do during the sports camp? and tht last night tht we all cried together. and i think tht this hockey camp was a good headstart for all of us. lets stay as bonded as we were during this hockey camp, and forgive and forget all the short-comings tht we had before. let us all stay as close knitted and bonded as we were during the camp, train really really super hard for the coming c'div tourni, and prove to everyone tht we can do it as much as others can do it too. alright? lets believe tht we can make it. we'll all put our hearts and soul and give our best. whatever the outcome it might be, we've all tried and given our best. alrights? we'll do it girlos. and i noe tht all of you mean the world to me. i-love-you girlos. muah.

and lets `fly like a butterfly, and sting like a bee.
theresian hockey forver!!

) )*winkwinks

2004-06-06T05:26:00.000-07:00

okayokay. this will be the last post for this week before i leave for hockey camp. i'll not be online frm monday until prolly friday night when i break frm the camp. im going to miss my comp like crazy. yeaps.

rightio. i feel really bad. i was late for today's game. i wasnt even there when the game started. i overselpt. and i feel really bad. and i really thank daddy for rushing and sending me there. ohs. now abt the result of the game. we won. 3-1. we beat yuhua. yeppers.

ehs. actually i used to think tht yuhua is a chicken school. i use to hate tht school. but today's game changed part of my perspective of tht school. i think tht they're all normal girlos like us. and i think they're preeteh nice too. hahas. i dont noe why i say tht. but i just think tht they're quite alright. lols.

and i really dont feel like going for the camp. i noe we'll all be having intensive trngs. and i noe they'll kill. under the coaching of mr bulb. this camp will be a killer. mr bulb says tht he'll overwork us. and tht means the end of us. sighs.

alrights. this is especially for brenda. she's leaving for taiwan tmr.
`nuerr!! i dunno if you'll be reading this. but all i want to say is. dont think too much larh. everything's gonna be okay aye. just train harder when ure back and show mr bulb tht you can do it too. okay. dont let what mr bulb said affect you. i noe you'll do it. and enjoy your hols. play all tht you can. eat all tht you want. lols. we'll all miss you. mummy will miss nuerr the most!! yeaps. takecare. loveyou many many. mwa.

thts bout it. i shall stop here. i got to pack my camp stuffs now. its getting late. yeaps. takecare aye. i'll be back on friday. will miss you all loads. mwa.

) )*winkwinks

2004-06-03T05:18:00.000-07:00

heyy. i havent been blogging for these few days. was really tired and didnt really feel like blogging anyways. this whole week havent been really eventful. things didnt go well and all. in fact, i think this has been quite a bad week, maybe until now, i guess. lets hope tht everything gets better. shall just update on the previous days tht i didnt blog. yeaps.

tuesday was our first under-18 girls tourni game. we played with jansenite warriors, and the result is, we lost. 6-0. okay. i was playing as right mid-fielder, and i was preeteh lost when i was playing. i didnt noe what i was doing. i dont even noe what i doing when i was helping in the defence. crap. i noe i let in a goal. one was my fault. and i missed one of the ball tht joan passed to me. i think i screwed everything up.

maybe it was expected, tht we're losing, but i still can't help feeling a lil upset over it. can i. plus the fact tht one of their goal was my fault. i didnt cover up sushmita's right, and i let in a goal, thru the stupid hole. tht i could have prevented if i covered my right properly. its all my fault. my fault.

anyhows. just want to thank ken and his chiobu frend for coming to watch the match. i noe ure reading this somehow. maybe the two of you just came because you didnt have anything to do. and though the two of you dont really understand what was happening thru the whole game, but by being there was alr enough. thks a bunch aye.

thts was all for tuesday. wednesday was quite boring too. my new wardrobe came. i swear tht its super big. there's still a huge full body-length mirror on it. its even bigger and taller then me. hehhs. i just love it. yeaps.

anyways. was suppose to attend zhiyi's birthday parteh. but i didnt go in the end. i feel quite bad. zhiyi, i noe ure reading this now. im really sorry tht i couldnt make it to your parteh. sorry aye. hope tht all of you enjoyed yourselves ystd. a happy belated birthday to you dear.

alright. today's match was a failure too. we lost to cresent. 1-0. we shouldnt have lost this game in the first place. we were really so close to scoring everytime we reach the 'D' but we somehow lose the ball. we were really close to scoring many times. but we didnt even score at all.

and though i only played in the last fifteen to twenty minutes of the second half, i made a big mistake. i missed the last chance we had to score. and abt three minutes after i missed the stupid chance to score, the game ended. damn. it just ended. and we lost. we shid at least get a draw or smth. how can we lose this game. crap. its my all fault. my fault.

sighsighs. alright. i think we shld all just stop blameing ourselves, and think of the mistakes we've done. and lets not repeat them agn okay. let it go. im sure we'll do better this sunday. we must beat the chicken school okay. hehhs. rightio.

`this is for all the under18 girlos.
heyy girlos. im in a lost for words. but i noe tht all of us can't help feeling a lil upset tht we lost both of our games. maybe we all could have done better, but its alr over. we shld just forget abt them, and look to the future. let it go. there are precious lessons tht we can learn frm. lets not repeat the mistakes tht we've made. and dont let mr bulb down anymore. i noe we'll all do better in this sunday's game. alrights? we'll do it girlos. takecare. restwell. loveyou all truckloads. muah.

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-31T05:52:00.000-07:00

arh wells. i just woke up. and im so proud of myself. i havent really eaten anything frm morning till now. and the good thing is tht i dont really feel hungry anyways. so i guess its okay not to eat till im really hungry. just pray tht i dont get a stupid gastric tonight or smth. hehhs. i hope i wont get it anyways. i pray.

okayokay. i woke up with a slight flu. i dunno whyy. and im sneezing like crazy ever since the time i woke up. lols. my stupid sensitive nose fault again. sighs. im so pissed with my nose. i dunno whyy i kept on sneezing. so annoying. eekks.

anyways. im quite lucky this time again. mummy cant fit into any of all the time slots mrs low have given to her for the stupid parent-teacher-conference. so im going back to school to collect my results tmr. without mummy this time. mummy might just have a talk with mrs low on the phone or smth. and i noe tht'll take like, a long long time. i wonder what they're gonna say this time. sighs again.

tomorrow will be a long day i guess. its our first game of the under18 tourni. and we're playing with the jansenite warriors. northland sec, the school who never fails to get into the finals in any tourni and prolly will be the champions or smth. and this time, its a BIG sigh. sighs.

i somehow feel scared, i dunno whyy, but its quite scary if you think of it. i noe its not a sure gone case. we might make it if we try hard enough. and if we believe. we have a strong defence. i noe joan, bubu, munyoke, jessica and even carolyn will not let us down. lets believe tht everything is gonna be alright. we'll do our best. yeaps.

anyhows, tomorrow's game is at Delta, 3pm. yeppers.

98.7fm is playing this love again. `this love has taken its toll on me,
she said goodbye too many times before, and her heart is breaking in front of me, i have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore. wahaha. i just simply love this song. i dunno whyy. hehhs. whee.

ohs. i bought a pillow today. lols. its so cute okay. i cant stand it. there's mickey, goofy and donald on it. wahaha. so chio. and so cute. lols. i was looking at all those cute cute things, and i noe brenda was a lil pissed with me. hahas. but i really cant stand it okay. i like all the cute cute things. ohs, i mean all the disney characters. mickey, minnie, donald, goofy, peterpan, tinklebell, mermaid, snow white and seven dwarfs, cinderella, pooh, piglet, eeyore, tigger and everything. i love them all. whee.

i dunno whyy im so in love with all those things. sighs. they remind me of my childhood days. hehhs. i remember tht i was totally in love with snoopy when i was young. some of you might have seen all those pictures ive taken with snoopy when i was young. and i remember tht there were a few taken with lots and lots of snoopies. hahas. i missed those times. i want to be a lil girlo again. wahaha.

alrights. im silly enough today. i shall just stop being silly here. ive to go and alter the hockey skirt. i cant fit into it. its so freaking small. everyone cant fit into their skirts. and we'll be feeling super uncomfortable when we're playing tmr. we all need to use safety pins. sighs.

okayokay. mummy is screaming at me again. i have to go off alr. takecare girlos. restwell. we'll do it yarhs.
loveyou all truckloads! ) )*winkwinks

`maybeiwasonlyfaintinlovecausefatefellshortthistime
[ imalroveryou* ]

2004-05-30T05:24:00.000-07:00

whee. my room is spfucking messy. cause ive just removed all my preeteh things frm my table, cupboards and my wardrobe. everything's lying all over the floor. daddy is getting me a new big wardrobe you see. and there's alot of shifting and packing thts needed to be done. and thts whyy my room looks like a warehouse. sighs.

anyways, im preeteh excited. cause im gonna have a new bigg wardrobe. so happy. hehhs. its gonna have a huge full body length mirror. and many many small drawers. and tht means i can put all my clothes into it, instead of seperating them into three cupboards and having a difficult time trying to find my clothes. lols. i cant wait for it to arrive on wednesday. wahaha.

ive been sneezing like crazy, since i started packing my room till now. ive got a preeteh sensitive nose i guess. i can even sneeze with the slightest and smallest dust particles arnd. me and my super sensitive nose. so annoying. sighs again.

church today rocks(as usual). sermon was quite difficult to understand, but i guess i manage to scrap through and i can sort of relate some of it. but i was a lil sleepy during the sermon. maybe i didnt sleep well last night. maybe. im tired now too. i'll get a rest now, before i continue to pack my stuffs. yeaps.

`i slept but my heart was awake

2004-05-29T06:09:00.000-07:00

whee. i love this songg.

maroon 5. this love.

i was so high i did not recognize
the fire burning in her eyes
the chaos that controlled my mind
whispered goodbye and she got on a plane
never to return again
but always in my heart

this love has taken its toll on me
she said Goodbye too many times before
and her heart is breaking in front of me
i have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

i tried my best to feed her appetite
keep her coming every night
so hard to keep her satisfied
kept playing love like it was just a game
pretending to feel the same
then turn around and leave again

this love has taken its toll on me
she said Goodbye too many times before
and her heart is breaking in front of me
i have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

i'll fix these broken things
repair your broken wings
and make sure everything's alright
my pressure on your hips
sinking my fingertips
into every inch of you
cause I know that's what you want me to do

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-29T05:03:00.000-07:00

but she's so highh.
her mind is high above the air.
her mind is over the world.
her mind is just you.

whee.

2004-05-28T05:40:00.000-07:00

aye. aye. today is prolly the happiest day of this term i guess. its the last day of term2 and the mids are long over. and its time for the hols again. happily. we dont have to face all those stupid annoying books tht made us go bonkers. we can just forget bout them for once. and play our lives away. whee.

went to cine and watched confession of a teenage drama queen. yeaps. it was quite a good show i guess. it was smth like a girl at the rock show. conquering the floor. lols. its really nice. and maybe cool. anyways. its quite a good show. go catch it yarh.

im gonna dye my hair again this hols. it doesnt seem tht its dyed anyway. so i shall dye it and make it more obvious. maybe i shld try, ehs, purple red, or maybe golden brown? mmhm. let me think bout it.

arh wells. i dunno whyy im so tired these days. im really really tired. i dunno whyy is it so, but i think im too easily tired these days. i get tired over the least tiring things. i feel so shagged after everything. i can even feel tired after watching the movie. and after i train, i'll get spfucking tiring. arghh.

eekks. im irritated and annoyed with myself.
i feel so silly. i dunno whyy.
whatever.

alrights. im stopping here. ive got trng tmr morning. ive gotto wake up early again. but im so tired. ehs, whyy am i whining in the first place. sighs.

yeaps. takecare. restwell.
sleeptight. colourfuldreams.
night nights. muah.

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-27T04:51:00.000-07:00

arh wells. trng today was really tiring and a lil scary. lols mr bulb is so scary. i dont really enjoy the way he talks and the way he yells at all of us in the pitch. its so pressurizing and scary. but, thts mr bulb. its his personality. and no one can change it anyways.

okayokay. lets talk bout the more interesting things tht happened in class today. lols. it was so funny and hillarious, i tell you, if you'd seen all tht we've done, you'll prolly laugh till you get a ulcer in your tummy. its tht serious okay. hehh. guess what naughty things we did. its even worser then ystd. hee.

rightio. we(veena and i) started out playing sisscor paper stone. lols. i noe we're silly. but we were really spfucking bored okay. yeaps. and the rule of the game was like this. the winner will slap the loser once everytime the winner wins. hehh. and veena kept on winning at first. so annoying. and she was slapping me like crazy. and until i finally got to slap her. lols. and i decided not to play anymore. cause my luck was really bad. keeps on getting slapped by her. pffft.

ohs. i forgot to sayy tht i slapped her quite hard tht time. hahas. and she was kinda pissed. cause she didnt slapped me so hard. but she slapped me so many times. hehh. so i decided to give her a tight slap. lols. im not mean okay. i think she deserves it. hehh. and after i slapped her, i decided not to continue the game. but veena wanted to slap me back, so she was tugging me to continue the game.

and as you noe, veena, tht skinny famous amos woman, dont have much strength. and when she tugged me, i started pulling back. and she fell to the ground. it was so funny. the way she fell. everyone was laughing at her like crazy. especially me. lols.

and so the 'war' began. we started whacking each other like nobody's business. and yar. i forgot to mention tht mr tan was in class. he was laughing at everything also. hahas. the cat-fight started out with the two lil kittens(venna and me) but ended up with samantha and zhiyi on my side. mmhm. so its three against one. hee.

we started to whack each other, and it got worst. in the end, we were trying to pull out veena's rubberband on her hair and even her shorts. and we got so violent, and she fucking kicked me. lols. i was really spfucking pissed at tht time. so i started to whack her boobs and kick her ass. i noe its a lil mean, but who cares. she deserved tht. who ask her to kick me in the first place.

and we continued fighting until we really were so violent, we had to stop. cause if we continued, i think all of us would have been injured by now. and tht crazyy mr tan lin how was watching everything, and laughing like as if its a comedy. crap. veena cried a lil after everything. and we apologised to each other, and we're alr okay now.

yeaps. thts all abt the interesting thing in class. it was really so funny and hillarious. and to think back abt it, i think i was quite mean actually. wells. maybe i got too wild and high at tht point of time. but i think it was really funn anyways. yeppers.

i was wild and high. whee.

rightio. thts bout it larh. im really tired and i need a rest. its the last day of school tmr. and im going to dye my hair during the hols again. cause my hair doesnt really shows tht its dyed anyways. yeaps.

so yeahh. takecare toodles.
loveyou all lots. muah.

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-26T05:47:00.000-07:00

arh wells. school is really boring these days. i can't stand going to school anymore. i want to pon school tmr. but ive got hockey trng. and i dont think i shld pon the last few trngs before my first tournament starts next week. my first game is on next tuesday. so tht means i can't pon school tmr. everyone is pon-ing school everyday. and i also want to pon school. i want. i want!

sighs. i can't pon school tmr. so irritating. im so jealous. everyone is pon-ing school, but poor me have to go to school. cause ive got my trng. and trng is at NTU, 2-4pm anyways. yeaps. i seriously dont like the NTU hockey pitch. its looks so big. and it feels so huge. i hate running in it. i feel so small there. so small.

ive told mummy and daddy my results alr. they didnt scold me or anything. anyways, they've alr promised tht they wont scold me this time. okay. i tried all tht i can in the limited time. and this is the best i can get. alright. maybe i was just lucky. i dunno. but im alr contented with my results this time. at least ive shown improvments. yeaps.

ive got to stop here alr. daddy needs the comp soon. he need to de-bugg. cause he suspected tht there are virus bugs in the comp. whee. so interesting right. lols.

yeppers. my contacts lens are falling out soon. i better go and take them out. yeap. takecare girlos. loveyou. muah.

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-25T07:18:00.000-07:00

heyy. this is going to be a short post. cause im really really tired. i slept from seven till ten. and im still tired. i seriously wonder whyy im so tired these days. perhaps i didnt have enough sleep for the past few months. so im sleeping like crazyy these days. i hate being so tired. its like im spending my life sleeping away. so meaningless.

school is extremely boring(as usual). nothing much to do except to crap around and catching some sleep in between periods. school is almost like a childcare centre. we play and the teachers just take care of us. lols. okay. maybe better then tht. sometimes, the teachers are not even in class. and i guess thts prolly the best and the noisest times. yeaps.

i dont feel as if im attending school. okay. maybe so, but i feel more like im attending a rock school. lols. so funny. if school was like this everyday, i think i wont mind going to school everyday. perhaps it'll get a lil bored at times, but its still better then sitting and trying to pay attention in class, while smsing under the table. or maybe trying to copy some homework. but hoping not to be seen. lols.

but i feel like pon-ing school still, although its nicer now, i feel like im just wasting my time. shld as well just stay at home and sleep. mmhm. whyy am i talking abt sleeping again? i guess im really tired.

i feel bad. we pon-ed trng today. cause we were really really tired. but i have my tournament is starting and my first game is on 1 june. and i pon-ed trng today. i feel so bad. but i was really tired today. and i mean really tired. i was sleeping thru almost all the periods and i guess the whole day in school. im beat.

alright. thts bout it. i think im gonna get somemore rest. yeaps.
takecare. loveyou girlos truckloads. muah.

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-24T07:11:00.000-07:00

heyoo. just sent veena off. tht silly girl. she forgot to bring her keys when she left for school in the morning. how forgetful can this girl get. lols. so she followed us to town and came to my hse and left at 10pm. thts quite unlikely for veena right. but i noe tht she enjoyed my sibling's company. they were busy crapping. while i was trying to catch some sleep. im really tired these days. tired.

okay. back to what we did in town. as usual. the chicken rice and famous amos woman, veena. bought famous amos cookies. lols. veena is totally spfucking crazyy over famous amos cookies. dont ask me whyy. ask her. cause she havent really given me an exact answer anyways. and she spent all her money on tht. lols. its so funny. she eats so much of tht, but she still doesnt puts on any weight. still so skinny and boney. so wierd right. yeap.

stupid adeline, brenda, carolyn and grace kept tempting me to eat at pasta mania. gosh. golly. i really couldnt resist eating tht i guess. they're so irrtating. eekks. and i dunno what i was doing. i actually ate. oh no. i actually ate. i feel so guilty now. but ive alr eaten. arghh. its all their fault. start to tempt me with all tht. so mean. annoying.

yeppers. got back all my results alr. i think i did farely okay this time. at least better then the previous exam. i failed two subjects anyways. and its maths and dnt(as expected). so it wasnt much of a shock or smth. i passed the rest and im really happy and contented. thought i didnt do well. but i think tht its alr good tht i can at least pass. lols. but seriously, i tyco my way thru most of the papes anyways. i can just count myself as lucky. really lucky.

sometimes i just feel tht im just such a lucky girl. i dunno whyy. but i always seem to have so much luck with me. and i can even do quite alright as compared to those who studied and mugg so hard for the exams. actually i feel bad too. sometimes i think tht i dont deserved the marks. but i think the lucky stars wont be with me always. i just hope tht everyone gets the marks they deserved. yeppers.

im relieved cause ive got all my results back alr. hope tht everyone who havent got back all their results will reach their expectations and get what they deserved. alrighto? i noe you girls will do okay. rightio.

thts bout it. im really tired.
nights. muah.

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-23T06:44:00.000-07:00

went to church in the morning. and church rocks(as usual). ive always enjoyed going to church. i dont noe whyy. but it just feels great. its like renewing yourself everytime you go to church again. i think i feel God's presence the most when im in church. i think tht going to church is really smth great. it just feels good. nice.

rightio. i gtg now alr. daddy need to use the comp urgently. so i have to go off now. yeppers. thts bout it. good luck to all getting their results tmr. hope all of you do well. yeap.

takcare+

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-22T06:32:00.000-07:00

heya. just reached home not long ago. dont ask me where i went and everything. i was just feeling sad and i wanted to be at somewhere quiet. and i didnt do anything stupid larh. for heavens sake. do you think i will anyway. ailin. brenda. carolyn(the abc of my life) lols. dont worry larh. im still here in one piece. nothing happened to me. and i seriouly nve do anything. and im really okay. believe.

i somehow feel hungry. eekks. i didnt eat anything frm lunch till now. and i didnt faint luckily. and i dont feel hungry. i feel good anyway. cause my tummy is flat now. so nice. at least i dont feel bloated. i feel light though i noe tht im heavy. fine. i noe tht im not fat or what. but i just feel tht i need to be skinnier. and so my dieting still continues. yeap.

went for trng but didnt really train today. cause i woke up late and plus i puked twice in the morning. so i didnt train. went for trng more then an hour late. thought tht mr bulb will screw me or smth. but he didnt. luckily. so i went to do stickwork. hit the ball and stuffs. and i sort of like train charmaine. she looks so cute in the goalie pads. hahas. i think she's quite good for the start. though she's still a small lil girlo. i think she'll do well in the time to come. you go girlo.

rightio. im stopping here. got nothing much to blog bout today. all i want to say is tht. i was feeling a lil sad and maybe depressed just now. and im really okay now. so dont worry aye?

charissa is really okay. she's fine now. yeap.

thts bout it. mummy bought some new top. and i think i saw a pinkk one. im gonna go and look at them now. yeppers.

takcare. sleeptight. colourfuldreams. mwa.

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-21T05:12:00.000-07:00

whee. im so happy. cause i noe tht my period is ending soon. and i noe tht. wahaha. okay. im getting a lil crazyy. but who cares. having a period sucks okay. its so irritating and uncomfortable. and it still causes me to have pimple breakouts, bad hair day and even mood swings. eekks. so annoying.

) )*moodswings

dont worry. im not pissed or anything now. im okay. and in fact, im quite happy. lols. i dont really understand whyy im so crazyy these days. and plus the fact tht im always so tired. its so wierd. and i say this again. its hard being a teenage girlo. its really hard.

town these days have become damn quiet and damn boring. towning doesnt seem to be as nice as before. i think it gets more and more boring with each passing day. i see the same trees, same roads, same buildings, same shops and even the same ppl. and its always the same ppl towning everyday. as usual. lols.

okayokay. i'll reveal a secret tmr. cause im too lazy to type now. lols. okay. is tht suppose to be an excuse of smth. wells. i hope it is. im really seriously very damn tired. and im beat. and there's still hockey trng tmr. and i seriously hope tht mr bulb will stop torturing us tmr. cause i dont want to do physical trng agn. my feet is alr a lil pain now. and everyone is suffering from muscles aches.

ohs. im waiting for the confessions of the teenage drama queen to be out. i heard tht its quite a good show. and i want to watch it. but it'll still take quite awhile to be out in the cinemas. arghh.

alrightt. this is the end for now.
takcare. colourful night. muah !

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-20T03:58:00.000-07:00

im so tired now. ive got my stupid period this morning. dammit. its making me so tired. and i get so cheesed off so easily. and i always get damn irritated and annoyed over lil things. and i mood swings like crazyy. i can be so happy and the next moment, im pissed. i guess its hard being a teenage girl. its really hard. i hate growing up. eekks.

) )*moodswings

went for the lotr exibitions today. its preeteh boring. the only interesting thing was during the lecture we had bout movie making. the guy who gave us the lecture is so cute. ohmygosh. i think he's really cute. though he's like a lil older then us. i think he is reaching his early twenties. and plus i think he's married, cause he wears a ring on his fourth finger of his left hand. lols. okay. anyways, im just saying tht he's cute. i think most of you also agreed with me right. hahas. but he's a lil too old for us though. lols.

and everything after tht was really boring. we had nothing to do. plus we're not interested in the stupid lotr. its so boring. so we went to macs. and guess what i saw? at the water fountain outside macs, there were so many saint andrew junior sch lil boys playing with the water. lols. its damn funny. they were all drench and they look so cute. aww. tht reminded me of myself when i was young. lols. at least i dont play water in public though. hehh.

we had to rush back to school for hockey trng. and we thought tht we can miss the first part of trng. but who noes, my bulb was there checking all their files. as anicipated, he was really dissappointed in us. and he was also quite angry. he had a talk with us and after tht, we had physical trng. we had 15 minutes, 10 minutes and 5 minutes run. we had to run at our best speed in all the three timings and he recorded our timings. i ran the first 15 and 10 minutes run, but i missed the last 5 minutes run. cause of my cramps. and in total, i think ive ran abt close to 4km in my top speed. physical trng today is really a killer. and im damn shagged now. my mind is going blank. im really beat.

im so tired. but i hope i dont fall asleep now. cause i want to watch OC. though its downloadable, i dont want to waste the memory space in my comp. cause ive alr got lots of pics and everything. they're taking far too much space. i want to watch OC. whyy cant it start earlier? then i can have my sleep earlier.

ive been really tired these days. i noe its all due to my period. i can actually fall asleep at 10pm and wake up only the next morning. but i still feel tired. thts so unlike me. i think i'll be back to myself in a few days time.

tomorrow's the photo taking session for yearbook this year. i dont understand whyy must we take those pictures so early of the year. i dont feel like taking any class photos or whatever. i dunno whyy, but im dreading it.

anyways, i feel like doing some shoutouts now.

brenda//nuer*
my nuerr. im so proud of you today. you ran really well today. lols. you must continue to train hard okay. our tournament is coming. and no worries. i think ure registered alr. so you'll most prolly be playing in the shf under18 girls tournament. and if we're suppose to play in the under18, it means tht we've got 2 tournaments to play in theses two months. under18 and c'div. its gonna be really tiring. we must all be prepared for it okay. we must make it there someway, somehow. and i noe we can do it if we want to. okay? you've done well today. and hope tht you'll so well in the exams. and have fun. takecare. rest well. love my nuer to everything. mwa.

carolyn//ahma*
ahma arh. im really proud of you today too. i noe tht you've done well. you've done your best. im happy and proud of what you've achieved. its really good. and its great and encouraging to hear tht you've got your passion for hockey back alr. and you no longer dreads hockey anymore. im really happy. drop tht thought of quiting or whatever okay. we still got a long long way to go. and no worries also. ure registered alr. and tht means tht you have got two tournaments to play. shf under18 girls tournament and c'div. its a long way to go. our real trng just started. be strong okay. train hard. i noe you'll do it. so yeahh. thts bout it. takecare. loveyou many many truckloads. muah.

all the c'div hockey girlos*
heyy. trng today was really tiring. i noe tht. well done girlos. there has got tougher ones to come. its just the beginning. we've still got a long long way to go. it may seem to be a lil difficult, cause we've only got a month left, but we can do alot in a month. we can at least make a difference. we must train hard. and even if the outcome of the tourni is bad, at least we noe tht we've alr tried our best in the limited time. we dont want to regret anything okay. we must make it there someway. somehow. and we can only reach the top as a team. i seriously hope tht everyone will train really hard within this month. i noe we can make it if we push ourselves. if we want to, we'll make it. train hard. we'll do it girlos. rightio. takecare. rest well tonight. love you all truckloads. muah.

im craving for smth.
i want my magnolia milk.
milkmilk*

lols. thts bout it.
takecare. rest well. muah.

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-19T05:15:00.000-07:00

eekks. the exams are over. so what. class is extremely boring. and i say again, boring. everyone is seperated into different clique. so irritating. all the indian girls will be together, at thts like one third of the class. then everyone will be seperated into their own lil cliques. and i'll be with my nuer, sasha, yiting, zhiyi and cheryl, maybe. yeap. and we talk bout all the same old things everyday. and i hate sitting in the register order. so stupid. i want to go back to my normal seating arrangements. i noe everyone wants to. mmhm. but maybe we're all too lazy to arrange the tables and chairs back. lols.

school today was preeteh stupid though. we started on our post exam activity. we had some funnyskin care talk. and a workshop on skincare. lols. i swear its damn funny. the talk was okay. preeteh boring though. they were telling us how pimples and acne developes. and its not like any of us got some severe acne problems or smth. so funny. but i think the speaker is really chioo okay. i think she's like damn chioo or smth. and i think her skin is so smooth. and the way she explains everything. i think she's really chioo and her skin is damn smooth. i just admire her. woah. just one word. beautiful.

okay. and now to the most interesting happenings of the day. the skincare workshop. lols. its so crappy. my stupid class went to sabo me when they were asked to vote for someone, for the woman to demostrate on how to take care and wash your skin properly. and tht someone was me. stupid class went to sabo me. so annoying. lols. and so i was left with no choice but to let the woman wash my face. and everyone was laughing went they saw the woman applying the cleanser and scrubing my face. i think it was so funny okay. i was trying not to laugh when the woman is trying to scrub my face. cause i dont think i want anything inside my eyes. and after she finished washing and applying cream, it was done. and i looked damn pale. cause of the cream. i think its funn. but annoying.

so much of all tht washing of face and everything. fine. tht was almost everything tht happened in school. there's some other things though. but i dont want to mention it here. yeap. but i think tht school and class is boring after the exams. we're just left to slack and do nothing. bleh.

went to town agn. yesyes. as usual. ailin went to thread her eyebrows. so hiao right. just cant stand her. she's just so vain. oohhs. i noe she's gonna kill me for saying this if she reads this. lols. ive bought shenevie her bday present alr. yeap. and ive got nothing much to say bout what happened in town. it shall just remain as a secret.

) )*winkwinks

dammit. training starts tomorrow. i almost forgot. haix. i think mr bulb will be damn disappointed in us. cause we didnt really fulfilled our promises of doing all our self trainings. i noe he's gonna be damn disapppointed when he check our files. maybe he'll just be damn angry, and make us run like crazyy again. or maybe he's gonna give up on us. i think its really our fault this time. cause we didnt make time to do all our decentralised trngs. when we made promises, they all seem so fulfilling, but we didnt do it. we've let him down again this time. its all our fault.

okay. just pray tht everything will be alrightt. yeppers.
thts bout it larh. gotta go alr.
im tired. takecare girlos. mwa.

2004-05-18T04:34:00.001-07:00

whee ! the mids are finally over. finally okay. im really tired. i guess, ive put in enough effort this time. although some of the work are all done last minute, but ive alr tried my best alr. this is the best i can do in one and a half months time. just hope tht i will pass everything. okay. maybe not for dnt. cause thts quite a gone case anyway. but i hope and i pray tht i'll do preeteh okay for the rest. i think showing gradual improvments are alr enough. i dont expect for more. i'll try harder the next exams. yeap.

right now. its time to start playing again. im so off my examinations mood alr. i think im going crazy. cause im going to play till i go mad. hahas. i think theres smth i really want to do. i really want to scream. -screammsss* the mids are over!! wally wallo. charissaaa is a happy happy lil girlo. whee!

rightio. since the mids are over, i think its gonna be back to hockey trngs agn. the time has come. all of us really have to start trng very hard. cause our c'div is coming close. we have only one month odd to train. we have got so much more to go. we really seem to be way behind time alr, compared to the other teams. sulks. but i think we've still got to try our best. we'll all try our best. and whether we make it or not, its up to fate and maybe God to decide. but we must still give our best in this short month alrightt girlos?

daddy just reached home, from taiwan. i got to stop here alr. im gonna have a chat with daddy. lols. and i hope tht me wont faint when he hears of all those shopping mummy and i have done when he's away. i hope he doesnt mind though. hehh.

so yeahh. the mids are over.
all you girlos have a smashing great time okay?
playy all you want, all you can.

charissaaa loves you girlos truckloads. mwa.

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-17T05:36:00.000-07:00

today's the second last paper. i say tht agn. second last paper. one more paper to go. not tht happy anyways. cause the last paper is the freaking chinese paper2. arghh. my chinese is really bad now. hahas. still rememberd the days when im in primary sch. granny will always 'force' me to study for chinese. cause she thinks tht its important for a chinese to be good in chinese(lols). okayokay. im a chineses, but tht doesnt mean tht my chinese rock or smth. cause i think my chinese is really bad. im fact, three quarter of my class is horrible in chinese. agree right girlos?

dnt paper was quite okay, surpisingly. but i think im gonna fail tht anyways. maybe not fail too badly, at least. im alr contented as long as i get 40 and above. cant expect too much of dnt from a silly girlo like me right. plus i think dnt is a total waste of time. cause i dont plan to be a technical or anything tht has got to do with dnt. i'll prolly be doing smth better. lols. alrightt. dnt is alr history. whee !

arh wells. went to town after the exam(as usual) and after tht, brenda went to cut her hair. my nuer went to cut her hair. when its alr so short. and now? she looks like a bung. nonono. i promised her tht i'll post this. she looks 'bu nan bu nu' (she looks neither like a girl nor a boyy) eekks. she so called 'forced' the hairdresser till her hair on top stands. whadaheckk. thts whyy i say she looks neither like a girl nor a boyy. she looks wierd. lols. check out brenda's hair in sch tmr okay. it rocks(ahem)!

nuerr!! your hair rockk. and dont forget tht your mummy(ahem) is rockk too. you rockk my socks girlo. lols.

so yeahh. thts bout it.
gonna go and study for the chinese paper alr.
takkaire toodles.
see you guys in town tmr. whee !

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

heyy. just reached home from church. didnt stay for youth service today. cause i havent studied for the dnt paper yet. i dont understand all the properties of plastic, metals and wood. somemore still have to learn abt the tools, and the joining methods. whadaheckk. dnt is the most boring subj in the world and the most stupid things you can ever learn in your life. we're not gonna be technicals in the future, well, at least im not planning to be one. so whyy on earth do we have to learc tht? dont we at least have a choice? or maybe the rights?

arghh. and i cant for goodness sake draw the isometric and orthograpic drawings, whatever you call tht. and i think im gonna fail anyways. i dont really bother trying to study for tht either. im just worried tht if i'll fail too badly, it'll affect my overalls(as usual). like for last year? i got some freaking 29 marks for dnt overall. dammit. and my overall was kinda affected a lil by tht though. so, hope tht at least i wont fail so badly. i pray. i pray.

alrightt. back to the hottest topic on my blogg these few days. im seriously gonna forgive and forget all tht have happened okay. i wont bear grudges. i shall be kind and magnimous. but, nevertheless, i still want to find out the truth. i want to noe who did tht. i want the person to admit tht to me. thts all. after all, it wasnt my fault in the first place. i dont think i deserved all tht, but ive alr apologised. but tht doesnt mean tht i admitted tht i did all those. cause, i so didnt. i apologised for cursing and scolding tht person(whoever it is). thts it.

and to ailin, brenda, sasha, and all those who are cursing and scolding tht person for me, thks okay. charisa is fine now. afterall, she didnt do all those things and she's not guilty. and she'll not want to bear grudges. she'll forgive and forget bout all tht happened. please dont do anything okay. even charisa have alr forgave tht person, you al lshld just forget it and respect her decision. afterall, its charisa okay. not just a typical girl who gets angry and make a fuss out of everything. its charisa here. she dont do all tht. cause she's charisa.

yada. yada. im not trying to be bhb of what up there okay. its really from my heart. i want to forget it and get along with life. afterall, life is a lil too short to bear grudges and to live life with hatred. we shld be happy happy lil girlos who're nicee, cutee and adorable(lols).

rightio :)

so yeahh. thts bout it. hafta call brenda and ask her bout what to study for the dnt exams tmr. she's waiting. yeppers.

study hard girlos.
its gonna be all OVER in 2 days.
muah ! loveyou sweetts*

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-15T05:19:00.000-07:00

i just came back from shopping. went shopping at raffles place, suntec and citylink with mummy. we bought so many things. nono. i mean, i bought so many things okay. im in such a good mood now. alright. lets name what ive bought today. i bought new sports bras, new sch shoes, new clothes, new ripcurl wallet, new hillsongs disc. hahas. her lastest album also. did i ever mention tht im a great fan of hillsong? yesyes. im a big big fan of her. i think her voice rocks, and the way she worships and praise is so cool. hahas.

okay okay. ive thought over it alr. i shall be nice and forgive tht person who screwed up all the tagboards. wait. tht doesnt mean tht i admit tht ive done all those things okay. i didnt do all those things. but i think tht its better to forgive and forget. cause God first forgave us. and i dont think its good tht i do tht. its not tht i want to be holy or whatever. but i think thts a better way to settle tht then to make a great fuss. i can do tht if i want to. cause im innocent. but, i dont think i'll do tht.

but i'll still find out the truth, and find out who did all tht. but i promise not to create a big mess abt all those. and thks to all those who helped to scold tht person for me. err, i want to say sorry for scolding tht person a fucking bitch. i think its in verge of my anger tht i said all tht. i take back my words. sorry :)

so yeahh. take care.
loveyou all lots lots.
) )*winkwinks

2004-05-14T04:16:00.000-07:00

okay. im really damn pissed. who's tht fucking bitch who's using all tht annoymous names to tag on my tagboard, and even on others tagboard. fucking bitch. i dont even noe whats happening okay. and tht bitch is screwing up my tagboard and other's tagboard for no reason, tagging crap abt me. thts all pure crap. and for your imformation, charisa is a still virgin. she didnt fuck boys and she doesnt have aids like what you think. and she doesnt smells/stinks. she is a perfectly normal girl. and its none of your business, of whats happening to her life. and she is none of what is tagged on all the tagboards. and all those tags are so hilarious. haha. if you want to screwed up her tagboard, please use smth more realistic. use your puny brains okay. and if you have the guts to tag all tht, whyy dont you have the guts to tag with your own name? thts called being a coward. and i noe tht the 'someone' is the same person as 'sexaye.' you can chose to get alive and fuck off. or maybe if you want to continue, the game is on. lets see which side the world on. what-so-ever.

im really damn pissed.

2004-05-13T00:23:00.000-07:00

oh my, oh my. oh no, oh no. today's science paper is another gone case. most of the questions are so indirect. and i dont understand so many question. and im a lil crazyy, plus i feel really sleepy during the paper. i think i pretteh well screwed up my mids alr. crap. anyways, tht's bout the end of many things, and the end of my life soon. sue me.

ohs well. tmr's literature paper. im quite confident for tht though. lols. cause we were given quite alot of hints for this literature paper. and if we do badly, or fail, we shld just screw ourselves. i mean for those who have got the literature hints and focus. and im really not allowed to give anyone the hints for the paper tmr. so please dont ask me for them okay? cause i dunno what to do if you ask me. lols. sorry okay.

rightio. im tired. coffee is not helping me anymore. stupid. no matter how much coffee or caffine i drink, i still feel like sleeping. arghh. thts really a bad thing. i think im somehow addicted to coffee. and im spending half of my assets on coffee. mmhm. tht sounds quite serious. lols.

okay okay. im gonna catch a nap now. im yawning away. bla bla blehx. and i think my contacts are falling out soon. better get going. maybe i'll blogg agn tonight. if i have the time to.

alrightt. muah !
) )*winkwinks

2004-05-12T04:14:00.000-07:00

today is maths paper2. ive alr tried my best. but i noe tht ive screwed the paper up(as usual). yesyes. always screwing up my papers. ive screwed up 2 of my papers alr. maths and history. okayokay. i might be able to pass my history. but my maths is a total goner. gone case. im alr prepared to fail my maths alr. i noe tht ive alr failed anyway. it'll be a miracle if i ever pass. if i do badly for the damn mids this time, then it'll be the end of alot of things for me. and the end of my life. maybe not really the end, but it'll be the end of half of my life. tht'll be the end. the end.

arghh. the mids are not over yet. i shouldnt be so depressed yet. im not a sadist. yesyes. seriously, i noe tht im not one. but sometimes i just cant help thinking about what will happen if i do badly for the mids. i mean, after all, we've at least got to be prepared to what will happen. cause if we're prepapred, we will not feel so much of the pain when we fall. and we can get back faster. and after all, we understand ourselves the best and we noe where we stand. and tht shld mean tht we can somehow anticipate or maybe predict the future for ourselves.

or maybe i shld say this: our fate and destiny is in our hands. its just the way we mould our future. we're all given equal opportunities in our life. its just the way we cherish and treasure them. and give the best of what we have in them. but sometimes we cant blame it on anyone. not even our fate. cause we noe tht we caused all these mis-happenings in our life. and after all. everything tht happened is just our fault. yeahh. ours.

i think im rather crazyy these days. ive been blogging on philosophies and what-so-ever not. wait. im not trying to comfort myself here. cause i noe tht its my fault if i ever do badly for the mids. but i'll try my best. and this time, im not gonna fail my dnt. i really have to pass tht. cause tht stupid subj is pulling my average down. crap.

rightio. i blogged to de-stress actually. cause im really lost after i read the science text and after listening to carolyn explain about elements, atoms, electrons, protons, neutrons. oh no. i think i better stop here. if not i'll start talking bout diffusion and osomosis as well. and tht'll be irritating and annoying for you to read on. cause you've alr read tht a bunch of times, i supposed anyways. lols.

so yeahh. thts bout it. im saying this as usual. study hard. and rest well tonight. alrightt?

charissaaa loves you guys truckloads !
) )*winkwinks

2004-05-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

sexaye. naughtyy. bitchyy. [ me* ]

**
i pick all my skirts to be a little too sexy
just like all of my thoughts they always get a bit naughty
when im out with my girls i always play a bit bitchy
cant change the way i am sexy naughty bitchy me

im the kind of girl that girls don't like
im the kind that boys fantasize
im the kind that your momma and your daddy were afraid you'd turn out to be like
i may seem unapproachable but that's only to the boys who don't have the
right a approach or ride that makes a girl like me wanna hop in and roll

people think its intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality
im a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent

**

my mouth never takes a holiday
i always shock with the things I say
i was always the kid in school who turned up to each class bout an hour late
and when it came to the guys i'd lay, i'd always pick the ones who wont
figure out that I am clearly a rebel to the idea of monogamy

People think it's intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality
im a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent

**

Sexyae. naughtyy. bitchyy. me *

people think its intimidating when a girl is cool with her sexuality
im a 180 to the stereotype girls like staying home and being innocent

**

i like all of my shorts to be a little too shortly
unlike all of my guys i like them tall with money
i love all of my nights to end a little bit nasty
cant change the way i am sexy naughty bitchy me

i pick my skirts to be sexy
just like my thoughts a bit naughty
when im out with my girls ..bitchy
cant change I am
sexyae. naughtyy. bitchyy. [ me* ]

2004-05-11T06:20:00.000-07:00

today was the most-dreaded history paper. and its finally over. whee ! i guess we can all throw our books away, maybe burn them away. who cares? its alr over. and i might not even have to take history as my humanities subj next yr if i dont want to. and i prolly dont think so too. hahas. so thts bout the end for history. okay okay, the paper today was quite alright. but i think it was quite rush though. i finished the paper just in time. and my handwriting was total crap if you look at my scripts. cause i just vomit everything out on the paper and i scribbled my way thru. what-ever.

yesyes. maths tuition just ended. tmr is maths paper2. another gone case. i shall just try my best. but i'll prolly screw the paper tmr(as usual). maybe i shld just stop cursing myself as to how badly i'll do. thts even worst. okay okay. charisa is going to try her best. yesyes. she must. lols. enough of all these philosophis.

i need smth now.
i need c o f f e e !
) )*winkwinks

rightio.
sleep tight toddles. sugar dreams. dont mugg till too late alright. muah !

2004-05-10T00:05:00.000-07:00

oh my gosh. i practically screwed up the maths paper just now. screw me. i dunno what i was doing. i didnt complete the paper(as usual). actually, many of them also didnt finish the damn paper. i think the time allocated was really a lil too short. its only 1 hr for some stupid and long paper. crap. ive alr flung my maths paper 1. paper 1 is alr so horrible. i think paper 2 is really a gone case. screw it. chinese paper 1 is okay. with the help of the dictionary, i guess i'll be able to pass my compo and letter writing. i hope so.

what-so-ever`

its the history papers tmr. im most prolly gonna screw it agn. nono. i cant afford to screw another subj up alr. i must pass ! yesyes. im gonna be a good girl and start mugging for history soon. i cant imagine writing all the crap for the sourse-based and strucrured questions. tht'll be horrible. i seriously dread this history exam. cause im afraid i'll screw it up. and by the way, the marks for this history mid yr exams will be taken in account for streaming next yr. i just remembered tht. me and my goldfish memory. wahaha.

yada yada. ailin gave me my belated birthday present today. guess what? she baked a big brownie for me. with pinkk icings and mnms(lols). ive taken a picture of it. i'll publish it after i upload it. rightio. its really very sweet of her. i feel so touched and honoured. hahas.

ailin`
muahaha!! thks a big big bunch for tht chocolate brownie. its really very sweet and thoughtful of you. ive nvr imagined ailin baking a cake for me, i mean a seriously edible cake(lols). okay okay. i feel really touched and honoured, though the brownie looks a lil screwed. but its frm you. yesyes. you. and im happy enough tht you made the effort to bake it for me. thks to victoria too, for cracking the eggs. there's no egg shell inside the brownie. its quite well done. another big thks to both of you. especially to ailin. charissaa loves you. muah !

thts bout it.
study hard people.

) )*winkwinks

2004-05-09T06:40:00.000-07:00

heyy. the exams are starting tomorrow(for stc). wahaha. okay. everyone seem really stressed. only so few people are online(lols). and i dunno what im doing online. mm. maybe to de-stressed. alrightt. im blogging here to tell everyone this(especially to all in stc). its the mids tomorrow. wahaha. dont cry. dont mugg till the early mornings. dont be too stressed. dont think too much. cause tht will cause us to lose all our memory.

so. sleep well tonight. rest well. alright? you'll do it girlos.
charissaaa loves you. muah !

2004-05-08T06:22:00.000-07:00

just woke up frm a long long sleep. i guess, im preeteh tired todayy. i even woke up late this morning, even though my alarm clock rang at seven. i practically slept till eight (i off the alarm and went back slping) lols. and as a result, i was late for science remedial. so so late. maybe not really damn late, but i was late. ahahas. i was twenty-five minutes, close to an hour late when i reached class. plus i still took a cab down. and if i didnt, i think i'll be even later. maybe, 50mins late. hehh.

okay. science remedial was fine. was craking jokes and disturbing mr tan (as usual, thts what i always do in his class). actually, for fact tht mr tan doesnt scolds us for everything tht we've done, tells us tht he's isnt a very bad preson. at least better then all the evil teachers arnd. its ever so funn disturing mr tan, cause he doesnt scolds you or anything. he might just tease you back sometimes. okay. im not trying to encourage all of you to disturb him here. nor am i trying to promote him, saying tht he's great. dont get the wrong idea.

after science remedial, we headed to townn (as usual). eh, beatrice, brenda, carolyn, chermin, gwen, chermin, and me. yesyes. seven of us went to townn. towwn was still damn quiet when we reached there. cause it was like, err, 10 plus when we reached there? yupp. so we went to burger king to eat. was suppose to eat there, but i didnt have the appitite to eat there. so i went to subway to get a sandwhich. hahas. havent been eating there for a long long time. and i finally did todayy. whee !

uhh, went to take neoprints after eating and all. i was still drinking my magnolia milk while walking to heeren. lols. i thinki i'll drink milk everyday from now. i want to have strong and healthy bones. wahaha. okay. maybe i can replace coffee with milk. hope its better then drinking coffee though. at least, there's no caffine in milk. yeppers. oh yar, backtrack. we went to take neos, and i too the neos with my milk. hahas. okay. my milk carton. dont get the wrong idea agn.

) )*winkswinkss*

yesyes. after tht, everyone left, to go home. cause they had tuition, or what-so-ever reasons. and only brenda, carolyn and i was left in townn. walked arnd heeren. it is totally quiet. cause the whole annex was like renovating. and most of the shops were still close. i bought a pair of butterfly earrings. omg. they're damn nicee. really really nicee i think. and i bought smth small for mummy. cause its mother's day tmr. lols. im not really tht filial or what. just thought tht its nice to get her smth (maybe she wont scold me so much in future) lols. just joking.

alrightt. the mids are officially starting on monday. and i havent really started fully on my revisions yet. oh my gosh. im left with only one day. which is tmr. i noe tht i havent really prepapred for it, but i dunno whyy im feeling so relax, so calm, and so confident for it. i think im going bonkers. im really crazyy. i havent felt the scaryness of the exams yet. but i think i will soon. whats life all abt anyways, studying and taking exams, studying and taking exams and still studying and taking exams. this doesnt seem to stop. what kind of fucked up lives are we living in? what has the world become of?

is getting good qualifications and getting into tops schools, top colleges, top unversities the most impt thing in life? i seriously dont think so. but i dunno whyy is the whole emphazing all this. its just make our (students) life go crazyt. just because of one thing. and tht is - e x a m i n a t i o n s ! im really suffering frm exams blue. i seriously cant stand the fact of taking exams. but thts the thing everyone have to go thru. there's no way out. no no no no no.

while everyone is out now, watching "sing to the dawn" (collaboration of rgs and ri), we're stuck at home mugging for the mids. haix. thts the biggest difference between stupid schs and smart schs. at least rgs and all have thru train. they dont reallt hafta worry like us to getting into top colleges, or getting a place in them. cause they're smart and they're thru train to college. thts a big big big difference.

oh no. i find myself extremly whiny todayy. i shall stop whining now, and stop here. i need to get back and start flirting with my books. lols. alrightt. thts bout it till now. takkairee ppl. study hard for the mids. give in all your best. you'll do it guys or girlos.

( (* lovelovelove
-hugss* muah !

andthereasonisyou*

2004-05-07T06:42:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to JIARUI and MARYANNE, and ME !
wahahas. 7 may will always be our special day,
cause it'll forever be our birthday.
whee ! happy happy birthday girlos.

a big thank you to all and all of you, who made my day special.
thks for all of your greetings, presents, cards, letters and huggs.
really appreciate them alot.
they just made up my day :)

special thks to shenevie and leilani.
they gave me a pinkk zara top (dont be too happy yet),
with the word FLIRT on it. wahaha.
whadaheckk. im not a flirt for goodness sake.
arh wells, at least i think im not. hehh.

to everyone.
big thank you and hugss to all of you.
really liked all tht ive recieved.
thks a big bunch.
muah !

*( (

ive just finished making my history notes.
and before tht, i had maths tuition.
and im really tired now. im beat !
but i cant seem to be getting to sleep.

there's science remedial tmr.
at 830am.
screw mr tan for making it so early.
haix. i better be off now. gotta catch some sleep.

takkairee toddlers. study hard for the mids.
charissaaa loves you all truckloads.
muah ! *hugss*

[ yourockmyworld ]

2004-05-06T04:56:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELISSA !!

today is another of my junior's birthday.
my dearr hockey junior, FELISSA.
this entry is dedicated to herr.

wahaha. happy birthday to you girl.
let me sing a birthday song to you.
if not you'll be jealous, cause i sang felicia a birthday song.

here i go`
lalalax. (warm up first)

happy birthday to you.
happy birthday to you.
happy birthday to FELISSA.
happy birthday to you !

a shoutout to felissa:
whee ! hope tht today was a happy day for you.
i noe it was. got so many prezzies right. ahahas.
and you got so many of your favourite eeyores.
wahaha. charissaaa's so jealous. no larh. just joking.
anyhows, takkairee yarhs? loveyou truckloads.

okay. tmr is a special day.
its jia rui, maryanne, and my birthday.
lols. three of us are born on the same day.
we're the 7 may babies.
the strawberry puff girlos. whee !

rightio. thts bout it larh.
i gotta go alr. everyone is accusing me of not mugging.
so i shall go and mugg now.
(this whole entry was crap, though)

yeppers. takkaireee ppl.
loveyou all truckloads. mwa !

everytimeitrytoflyifallwithoutmywingsifeelsosmalliguessineedyoubaby.

2004-05-05T07:04:00.000-07:00

im listening to perfect10, 98.7fm.
and the songg tht i lovee so much.

britney spears, in the zone: everytime.

notice me
take my hand
why are we
strangers when
our love is strong
why carry on without me?

everytime i try to fly
i fall without my wings
i feel so small
i guess i need you baby
and everytime i see you in my dreams
i see your face, it's haunting me
i guess i need you baby

i make believe
that you are here
it's the only way
i see clear
what have i done
you seem to move on easy

and everytime i try to fly
i fall without my wings
i feel so small
i guess i need you baby
and everytime i see you in my dreams
i see your face, you're haunting me
i guess i need you baby

i may have made it rain
please forgive me
my weakness caused you pain
and this song is my sorry

ohhhh

at night i pray
that soon your face
will fade away

and everytime i try to fly
i fall without my wings
i feel so small
i guess I need you baby
and everytime I see you in my dreams
i see your face, you're haunting me
i guess I need you baby

after all..
after all..

2004-05-05T06:42:00.000-07:00

maths tuition just ended.
im so happy and relieved. wahaha.
i reallyy suck at maths.
seriously, and i think my tutor must have great patience.
to teach such a silly and loser girl in maths.

arh wells. tuition's overr.
so i shall just forget bout it and stop talking bout it.
i got lotsa assignments to complete.
im quite alot behind time. especially for chinese.
im equally bad in chinese as well as for maths.

i got a zhuo wen, gan xiang, zhao ju, and a zhou ji to do.
lols. i dun even noe if i got tht correct in the first place.
my han yu pin yin suck also.
basically, my maths and chinese suck.
i hafta admit tht. ahaha.

backk in sch today.
class was preetty boring (as usual).
i didnt have much mood to crap and joke arnd. thts whyy.
but everyone seem really relaxed, now tht the mids are so near.
i was feeling damn tired, but the whole class was so hyper.

thts totally unlike the normal okay.
i was actually the one who's hyper, while everyone's tired.
dunno what has gotten into all of us.
a change of attitude?
charisa becomes a good girl, while everyone becomes naughty girls. lols.

tht was practically crap.
and it shows how stressed charissaaa is. wahaha.
only thing interesting in sch today, was during english lessons.
we played taboo, and we had some true/false quiz.
it was quite funn, but everyone got bored after a period.

we continued playing taboo.
when everyone got tired, we switched to some wierd quiz.
but the quiz was really amazing kae.
err, there were interesting questions like:

whether elephants is the only mammles tht cant jump.
whether eagles mate in the air.
whether dolphins sleep with only an eye closed.
and the funniest one:
whether giraffes have a 21 inch tongue, which it used to clean its ears.
eekks! thts like so gross. hahas.

okay. thts bout all. but i guess some were really amazing,
if you ever think about them. right.

conclusion of the day: school was BORING.

countdown to the mids: 4 more days (2 sch days and the weekends).
its seems preetty fast. time flies.
we only had our english papers, while many other schs have alr started on their mids long ago. but we've got more time to mugg. hehh.

yada yada.
i shall stop here.
tata ! muah !

thereasonisyou *(

2004-05-04T03:04:00.000-07:00

ohs wells.
im sickk today (sick kitty).
so i didnt attend sch. was slacking at home.
and slept till 10 in the morning.
ahahas. i noe all of you are jealous. *winkss*

but i was sick in exchange of waking up late okay.
dont be too sadd/happy there.
hehh. i got a slight migrane.
it wasnt too bad. but i just feel a lil giddy and dizzy here and there.

ive recieved so many msges and calls.
thks for all your concern.
charissaaa is alrightt.
dont worry okay. lols. you girls are damn cutee.
charissaaa loves you girls lots.

im waiting for 3 more days to come.
its a special dayy. wahaha.
okay. its for you to find out whats on 7 may.
whee !

so yeahh. thts bout it.
i'll be backk to sch tmr. dont miss me too much.
study hard tonightt. the night is young.
sasaa will be there if you need herr. wahaha.

takkairee girlos.
muah !

thisgirlwantstorockthenightwithyou*

2004-05-03T21:57:00.000-07:00

whee !!
my new blogg.
so chioo rightt.
wahaha. relink me people.
muah !

2004-05-03T21:42:00.000-07:00

today is my dearest junior's birthday.
happy happy birthday FELICIA !!
let me singg a bithday song to you.

*ahemm*
happy birthday to you.
happy birthday to you.
happy birthdayy to FELICIA.
happy birthday to you.
wwhheee!!

charissaaa loves you lots lots.
muah !

backk to my post.
today's a bad day.
for all those who noes what has happened.
smth bad and really sadd happened.
im not suppose to blogg it out here.
its kinda a lil too private to share it here. sry.

i was kinda taken backk by shock when i found out what happened.
and i felt really dissapointed.
i wondered what has happened to her.
luckily, we had mr tan to help us and give us advices.
if not, maybe not, things might get worst, and life might be lost.

i learnt one very important* thing heree.
just want to share it with everyone,
cause i think its smth good for all to noe.

when things go terribly wrong,
when ure at the verge of wanting to die,
think of the people arnd you.
think of your frends and parents,
think of all those who loves and care for you.

dont be selfish.
if you die, your suffering on earth might end,
but all you those who loves you will suffer in the end.
think bout the rest. dont only think for yourself.
others will suffer because you die.

and its not worth it to die for love.
if the person really loves you,
the person will not even hurt you.
what more want to cause you to die for him?
he wont really care if you really died.

if someone you love doesnt loves you.
then, whyy shld you be so foolish to think of dying?
just let it go. forget bout the fucking bastard.
he only knows how to hurt you.
he doesnt know to love you.

conclusion of the dayy:
relationships/love now doesnt seem promising as the seem to be though. learn to let things go. there's gotta be more to life.

2004-05-02T17:58:00.000-07:00

just came backk frm church and shopping.
went to buy birthday presents, you see.
thts so nice of me kae.
so many people are born in may. wahaha.
amy. felicia. felissa. cheryl goh. cheryl yeo. jia rui. and ME!!

but of course im not so silly to buy a present for myself.
hahas. tht will be totally silly if i buy one for myself.
im gonna go totally broke okay.
such a sadd thing.

im chatting with jillian now.
she says tht she's gonna gimme a tortise for my birthday.
whadaheckk.

ohs wells.
lets stop talking bout buying presents.
they just make me feel stressed up.
-breathes in. breathes out-

lets talk bout church service today.
today was holy communion.
i think church today totally rock my socks off.
especially the youth service.
the speaker was really good, i shld say.
and the best thing is:

she's damn CUTEE and FUNNY !!
i lovee the ways she talks. damn cool okay.

she was telling us bout her life stories,
and all her teaching experiences.
in churchs, bible colleges and she mentioned acs (lols).

she was telling us how worried the principal was when she found out tht some of the acs students wants to be buddists (lols agn).

and she was so 'pro' to make them christians.
actually i dont really noe those details too well.
cause i was feeling really sleepy then.
and i was almost wanting to fall asleep.

but i didnt, and i cant.
cause i was sitting at the first row.
right in front of herr.
and it'll be really rude if i just fall asleep under her nose.

oh yarh. i havent mentioned the topic she shared today.
the topic is on: dlfferent world religions.
and today was about buddism.

her sharing was to teach us bout buddism,
and eventually how to evangelise effectively with buddists.
and i think it was really good.
i really admired the way she shared and the way she talked.
although she's a lil old, but i think she's really COOL.

okay. and i was so worried tht i'll not have enough time to revise,
tht i studied history in the bus ride home.
and was highlighting all over the book.
everyone was staring at me.
wondering if students now were sooo hardworking.
i think they have defined me as 'kiasu'

time is running short for me.
im rushing for time.
guessed its the same for everyone.
all doing last minute revision.

wahaha.

shesitsoutsitetheheavensgatecryingandaskgodtotakeallherhurtaway.
causeshestilllovesyou*

2004-05-01T15:31:00.000-07:00

lets blogg bout ystd.
i actually did blogg kae.
but the post got deleated accidently.
arghh. so annoying.

ystd was the english papers.
guess everything was fine, maybe except for the composition.
arghh, i might have screwed it up.

i was supposed to write bout a special gift.
but halfway thru, i didnt noe how to continue.
so i switched to another topic.
i wrote the continous writing one.
smth to do with flooding the hse.

and i think i wrote off point.
i suddenly start writing bout chocolate fudge cake.
cause sasha gave me kindda breuno (whatever you spell it)
before the exams, and i finished them before the exams.
thts whyy i started writing bout chocolate, i guess.

sasha ! you spoilt my diet plan by giving me chocolates. wahaha.

back to the subj.
the rest of the papers were okay.
formal letting was not too bad.
just hope tht ive got the format right.

but the comprehension and summary was kinda easy.
i finished them within 40mins, and i slept throughout the extra time.
oops ! i think ive forgotten to check my paper.
arghh. heck larh. it wasnt too bad after all.

thts all bout the english papers ystd.
back to todayy.

just reached hme frm townn.
ahahas. went shopping at taka and wisma,
with brenda, felicia, felissa, han wei,
kinda gave up on cine and heeren.
all the same food, same shops and even people.
same e v e r y t h i n g.

guessed it was a good change.
didnt want to even step into cine/heeren today.
cause i sense tht smth bad might happen.
there're some ppl i dont wish to see.
and if i ever see him, my mood for the exams will be gone.

its so wierd, it always happens like this.
everytime a relationship or when smth bad happens,
it'll be somewhere close to the examinations.
and i'll lose my mood to study.
as a conclusion to tht: i do really badly for the exams.

and this time, im gonna prevent it.
i shall stay away frm town as for now.
and i'll be backk towning after the mids.
whheee !
but tht'll be quite longg.

back to the shopping part.
we were shopping arnd taka and wisma.
we went to fcuk, surfbabe, topshop, and many many others.
and we were looking at all the bimbo things.
err. not we, but me. ahahas.

i liked all the pinkk thingss.
they're so bitchy and bimbo.
just like me.
just joking (im not ego.)
wahaha.

shal end heree. cause,
the mids are coming.
-scReAmS-

idontwannarunawaybuticanttakeitidontunderstand`

2004-04-30T21:41:00.000-07:00

whee !
maths tuition just ended.
and im free agn (freedom).
lols. i can solve most of the maths equations,
under the supervision of my tutor.

whats the point then?
but at least i can solve them.
after all, i understand those stupid laws alr.
happily. im a happy happy girrl.
lalalaa.

theres run tmr at the nie track.
for sec1 and 2s.
i really hope tht moree ppl will attend, and be on time.
after all, we've all made our promises to mr bulb.

the c'div tournament is coming soon.
im really vry scared.
i dunno if we can make it this time?
we only have a month left, and i dun think we can do much within a month.
but we all do our best.

you go girlos!! stc hockey c'div rockss.

and im dying to watch jersey girrl.
i think it'll be a great show.
but i guess i'll only watch it after the mids.
haix. thts still quite longg frm now.
i cant wait to watch tht. arghh.

thts bout it. i shall stop here.
im gonna start on my lit notes tonight.
so tht i can learn tmr.

so yeahh. takkairee`
cyas sweetss arnd.
-hUgGs

uremovingonbutimstilldwellinginthepast.
+uoyssimi//.

2004-04-29T18:03:00.000-07:00

arh wells.
im tired.
and im really tired.
i need to s l e e p.
but i dun have much time for sleeping though.

but its the starting of mids tmr.
its the first paper, english paper.
okays. im quite well prepared for eng i guess.
nothing much to study for tht though.
i just cross my fingers and hope tht i can rmb the format for formal letter.
then i'll be quite safe.

ohs wells.
the rest of ther others mains are coming on real soon too.
starts on 10 may onwards.
haix. time flies, half a yr has past, and its the mids agn.

mugg, mugg, mugg and still mugg.
thts all we can do now.
we've got so much to study, yet so lil time.
tsk, tsk, tsk.
thts damn sadd.

im gonna catch a lil sleep now.
and mugg in the night.
(secret plann)
-gRiNs

i'll be b o r e d at night, so anyone who's also planning to mugg
or who's gonna mugg, pls gimme a call or smth.
then we can keep each other awake and acompany each other thru the dark. tht sounds a lil romantic though. lols.

here's a lil shoutout to all those who're mugging for the mids`

heyy people. time flies. the mids are here agn. i noe we're all dreading this, but we still have to take the exams. sad case. but cheer up. we're all going thru this together. and life still have to go on. its not really the end of the world yet. though exams really kills. wahaha. its a lil wierd to see charissaaa having such positive attitude towards exams leh. better be happy. lols. and this is espcially to all hockey girlos. studay hard, and do well for the mids kae. and rmb our de-centralised trngs. we've got to keep up to our promises for tht too. alrightt? so yeahh. thts bout it. s t u d y h a r d everyone. and rest well. god bless.

there is no problem to big, God cannot solve it.

2004-04-28T21:31:00.000-07:00

boohoo.
just reached hme.
went to the visit the doctor.
cause ive got a swollen toe.
and i can walk properly.

i dunno whats up with my silly toe.
it just start to swell up ystd.
i dun even noe whats happening to it.
and i got worst today.
i had no choice but to see the doctor, which i totally dreads.
the clinic smells yucky. eekksss.

i actually wore my sch shoes to sch this morning.
but i brought slippers, just in case i need to change into them.
and during science lessons, i couldnt stand it anymore.
cause it was hurting like crazyy.
so i had to change into my slippers.

and sasha and zhiyi are mean and maybe a lil retarded.
they claim tht my slippers are un-chio,
when they're like so superr chio.
and superr bimbo. hahas. thts just for me.

and the worst thing today was.
the maths re-test on inequalities and simultanous equations.
oh goodness. mr ng says tht the paper was easier then the previous test.
but, whadaheckk. i think its even worst.
and i couldnt do arnd half of the whole test kae.
im bound to fail agn this time. anticipated.

i realised tht im lagging behind time like madd.
i no longer have time to slack anymore.
i really need to mugg like crazyy.
and i might not even make it if i start now.
i think its a lil too late.
but starting now is better then not starting/starting later.

my worst subjs are: maths, history, chinese and science.
thts like practically all the most important subjs.
and its not like i'll fare quite well in the other subjs like eng or lit.
haix. i think i'll pray for the lucky stars to be with me.
for the last, and the vry last time.

i really need alot of luck, to do well for the mids.
okays, maybe not do extremely well, but at least pass.

so yeahh. i shall start mugging now.
i must put everything aside and studyy.
i must. i can. i will. i MUST make it.

takkairee ppl.
study hard. and do well.
lovelove`

iveputdownmyprideillbeafoolforyou.